Campaign of the Month: May 2022

Revenge on the Kraken's Bane

Session 14: What is Red and Blue and Green All Over
If It Looks Like a Cult

GaemonToken.pngAs told by Gaemon Swallows.

My dear sweet Umberllee,
I write this soliloquy as I think of thee

After picking off pixies, we purveyed the praying perch
Scratching off a rune we gave the site a search

The base beheld a brand, the Black hand of lord Bane
Kuda cleansed sigil from stone, to cease this false gods claim

Onward we traveled, Timothy trailing tidings of thieves
We stumbled upon wicked smell of death amongst trees

CorpseFlower.pngMaking our approach, Kuda found a corpse flower
I think that he smokes it to create his odd star power

As Kuda culled cuttings, the Cordia came to be a carnivorous cabbage
Seeping smells sheepened the stomachs of Sprea and I most savage

The vile vegetation vomited vicious victimized ventures of yore
Gaesik’s gaze glazed, grimly launching eldritch blast, as we’ve seen before

Preston’s fingers flew fabulous flames frying fatally our foes, smoking from the tips
Rolfs poniard projectile pierced plant on point ,thrown from the hips

Timothy swam slime in stream, shooting safely from shore
Taking one for the team as a Navy Seal Otter, adorbe

With the war almost won Gaesick wove his wacky wand for wauggery
And by perchance poofed the prized plant from the plotted perch, Buggery

Lost in soaked swamp Sprea soared to the skys
Spotting smoke from a campfire we surmised

Upon careful approach Timothy and team A made new friends
Though still skeptical team B hung back round the bends

Priest.jpgBrother Paul seemed…. to nice, and offly fond of a frog
Seemed possibly their minds might be lost in a fog

Braun, Alitta and Lexi add, make for a marry ol band
Against better judgement we all walk up and join clan

After an arm wrestle, a dinner, and slight exchange of tales
We made up our camp and our group plans to set sail

Timothy forgetting his supplies, with mischievous intent
Decided to stay with Brother Paul in his tent

I don’t claim to know much about this wild land
But staying with him seems a terrible plan

As I write, as I fight, cleansing your world of foul blight in name of the
Bless me, in your way, that I can bring your chaos to the fray my sweet Umberllee


Session 13: The Vampire Pixies of the Mist

Ghaisek_token.pngAs told by Ghaisek.

Greetings Mistress,

I trust the creature Caliban has kept you apprised of goings on here on the material plane (though I may give the wretch too much credit), but it seemed appropriate to provide a formal update. As you know, we had previously traveled to Ylraphon with intent to seek power and enrichment in the nearby flooded forest.

After dealing with that tentacle beast at the house of Moander we took some time to rest and recover from grievous injury -for those among our number careless enough to suffer such wound. Following our rest, we noticed that many of our capabilities had increased. I myself take note of your intervention in such matters of fortune, and offer gratitude for recognition of faithful service.

We soon set feet to purpose, and marched deeper into the flooded forest in search of the sunken city. The Lutrinian, Timothy, led the way for us following encoded messages left through the forest. He has some connection to our Master in Nessus, but is reticent on the topic. I will endeavor to find out more on this matter in due course.

Fearing the possibility of beguiling fey magics, the bard Rolf played songs for a journey towards a purpose of fortifying our minds against such influence. I believe there is some potential for gain in cultivating friendship with Rolf. He is charming and naïve in equal measure, proving himself loyal companion and valuable ally.

Eventually we found a warning posted to “Beware: Winged Fangs”. Were it not for the rumors of vampiric pixies I would have considered such warning to be the product of a deranged mind. In short measure we found ourselves accosted by the very same. We came across an altar in the forest rich with coin and warded by a permanent enchantment of spike growth.

Aradni.jpgWhile investigating the altar we were attacked by a pair of these fey creatures along with a cadre of gnolls. A cleverly placed fireball from Preston made short work of the gnolls but the fey proved a greater nuisance. Something within the mists laying over the region seemed to sap us of the very essence of vitality and transfer it in full measure to those vicious little cunts. There seemed to be some magic in the arrows they fired. One such arrow rendered Sprey unconscious in a single hit. Another arrow resulted in immediate cries of terror from Rolf leading me to the conclusion that some enchantment must lay on the arrows. (I doubt whether Rolf has the good sense to actually feel terror without some form of magical inducement, but i suppose that is part of his charm).

Once the violence had ended it became quickly apparent that the gnolls with the fey were mere slaves and unlikely to prove as threat. Some of our number expressed regret at the deaths of those pitiful creatures. In truth, we granted them freedom from the sorrowful mewling existence to which they had been condemned.

I have enclosed with this missive the preserved form of one of these vampiric fey so that you may pass it to others in your service for study. The satyr Kuda was quite useful in preparing the preservative solution. Take note of my continued success in acquiring assistance to purpose from these that would serve lesser masters.

Hail Andariel in her glory, Hail Asmodeus Lord of the Ninth.

Your servant,


Session 12: Flooded Forest, Ho!
The House of Moander

SpreaToken.pngAs told by Sprey D’Eagle.

From Sprey’s Journal, one of several unsent letters:

Uncle Adler,

Gosh I hope you all are doing okay. I’m not sure where Mr. Mooney and the circus have made their way to now, but I hope you’ve been able to go with them.

As for me, our crew has made it to the town of Ylrpahon in search of the mysteries of the Flooded Forest. We weren’t sure what to expect from this place, so before heading out we stocked up on all kinds of supplies. Kuda was looking for ways to get more tattoos, which makes me feel like I need a reminder of all the tattoos he has… Ghaisek also picked up some fancy…lube/ointment thing that he immediately handed to his pet thing, so maybe that’ll come in handy. Could you let Auntie Umber know I also picked up a glassblower’s kit? I thought it was time to start using one again.

After we booked passage on a boat by working our butts off helping with the sailing, we arrived in Ylraphon and set to work learning more about what might be hidden in the Flooded Forest. While I took time to get a layout of the town and swamp, the group visited both temples of Selune and Umberlee. No one knew about the Sunken City we had heard about, but we did get tasked with clearing out “Old Moldy”. Apparently someone named Moander hadn’t done his spring cleaning and we got sent to clean his house for him.

Darktentacles.jpg Just outside the house we found a bunch of signs for joining the Convocation in the Sunken City. They made it sound like a party, but I think we all had a bad feeling about it. The house turned out to be some…sunken temple thing that some big tentacle thing had taken over. I guess instead of rats they get tentacle monsters that move into abandoned homes. We got beaten up pretty good, but it was worth it from all the treasure we found!

Everyone got some fun but powerful toys too, and I’m sure their excited to use them, but after the monster we needed some good rest. I guess we’ll be in this swamp a little bit longer and trying to learn from it. Hopefully the circus never makes it over here, it’s a little too humid for Auntie Nabis’ liking.

Take care, Uncle.May4FF.gif

Session 11: Soulforge Strikes Back
Does Anyone Speak Dwarvish?

TimothyToken2.pngExcerpt from Timothy’s Journal

14 Nightal, 1490_

We were near the Soul Forge with all the dead bodies and Kuda was going to touch it to see what it did. But the moment he touched it, it began to glow and, of course, all the bodies popped up and started attacking us, which shook up Geamon and Ghaisek who stood there…. just stood there…. for like 6 seconds! Then Preston just drops a fireball, barely missing me.

HuskZombie.jpegAnd these weren’t normal bodies…they were explode-y bodies!

Rolf distracted the guy next me so I could get away before he took me out. Then he really got really smacked down, then stunned. Luckily, I was able to kill the thing before he got hit again and Preston moved in to keep him safe while he couldn’t move. (For just a second, Rolf was kinda hot stunned and bleeding…is that an Asmodeus thing? Not sure I’m comfortable with it. Gonna have to ask Ghaisek.)

Question, journal…. does it count as a kill if the thing you stabbed a lot was already dead?

The soul forge just kept glowing, even after we dropped all the ghoulies. Tried hitting it and nothing… well took some damage. I thouight it had instructions, but I couldn’t read it. No one could read it. You know who read it. Rolf’s fucking sword. Rolf’s fucking sword could read it. When Rolf said the name “Moradin the Forger of Souls” it stopped glowing and stunning everybody.

We took the hammer from the forge…hope no one needs it. It’s in my pocket. Took a rubbing of the anvil as proof we were there. Then we slept there. It was cold and damp, but Rolf was very warm.

The next morning, Gaemon and Ghaisek went statue tipping, and we all know what happens when we let them on their own. They found a box in the bottom of one of them which said Property of the Golden Hands of Vergadain. Sprea picked up and put in the pocket.

Virbig was happy to see us. We gave him the rubbing from the soul forge. Then he wanted to map which I still say wasn’t part of the original deal. Didn’t even say goodbye or thank you when we left. Rude.

Vergadain_symbol.jpgAfter cleaning up and a quick orgy, we finally opened that box. This giant mouth jumps out and says “Similar faces are good hiding places.” Lot’s o’ goodies in there, lots of coins, some potions, and really nice arrows. Rolf tried to eat a coin because he thought the coins had more coins in them.

So now we are off to the Flooded Forrest.

P.S. Note to self, keep an eye out for things with that statues face.

P.P.S. We also finally named our ship…. Vicious Seaward!!

Session 10: Searching for the Soulforge
The Lost Shrine in Sarbreen

PrestonToken.png As told by Preston Digitation.

Short rest back outside
Timothy ordered Goggles of Night
Sprea nabbed a Clockwork Amulet
Went back to sewer
A big hole! Rolf investigates…we all follow down the rope
We explore the ruins…
Rust monsters! (oh and a XORN)
Continue exploring
Discover an altar/anvil, with some dead bodies…looks like the previous exploring group didn’t make it :(
No obvious cause of death. They’re just dead.


Session 9: Searching for Sarbreen
You Otyugh Come Prepared!

buoyToken.pngAs told by Buoy (in the voice of Dug from Up)

Hi there! Oh boy! I get to tell the story this week, and I am very excited! Master let me come down into the steamy room and play in the splash pool while he has special play time with some new friends.

They decided to stay in town, and the rest of his friends all went to go do things. I heard them talking later, and they said some went to a lying berry. Mr. Otter found some kind of blue prints for the sewers. I do not know what kind of berry leaves blue paw prints, but it must be big and blue. Maybe one day I will find out! Mr. Slithers one seemed to have difficulty concentrating on anything. I think he wanted to be back in the steamy room for special play time too. Mr. Feathers seemed to just sleep or something. I think he doesn’t sleep well because sometimes I see some him having to be tied down while he moans and yells. Mr. Blue said that where we were was built on an ancient dwarven city called “Sardine.” I like sardines. They’re very salty. Everyone in the group seems to like salty things in their mouth, and that makes me very happy. The Sardine was a pirate city and had something to do with someone named Mohander. I wonder how many more hands he has?

Verbig_the_Helpful.jpgMr. Red went to talk to the pretty feather lady. She didn’t know much, but his tail wagged a lot when he talked to her. Mr. Big went to talk to someone who is also very big. He says if we go down into the sewers he’ll give us something that will help us go back in the water. I am very excited about going back in the water. My master went to talk to a big man with big teeth and smelled like home. He can help us go back in the water too. I saw master shut one eye a blow a kiss at him. I think they will be good friends.

Otyugh.jpegMaster and his friends all go down into the sewers. I am ready to not be down here, but I am an expert tracker and I will find the thing for my master. I think it must the lying berry with blue paw prints. I will find it for him! I dash down the sewer and see a big thing. It is very big, and it is a thing. Everything went very dark, but I know master will call me back to him soon because he loves me.

Session 8: Return to Raven's Bluff
And a night in the Dragon's Maw.

RolfToken.png As told by Rolf.

We all got laid. Now get out of my room and let me get some damn sleep. *rolls over and immediately begins snoring.

*Some time later…

Okay, you SERIOUSLY don’t remember last night? Fuck, fine, lets start from what you DO remember…

Let’s seeeee… We’d just gotten back from saving Barkus from the merfolk. I still can’t believe that Gaemon and Ghaisek decided to keep exploring the cave with all of us still not fully recovered from that huge fight. No, I’m NOT just saying that cuz Kuda was busy sucking my dick! Ok. Maybe a little. Whatever, once we all caught up to them, those sharks were easy meat and that sorceress had no chance in the Hells. Yes, I do have to flex while saying that. Shut up.

Back to last night. We got back to the bar and the Lady was very thankful, promising us a ship of our own within a tenday as reward, and to enjoy ourselves til then. I TOLD you assholes that getting a ship was the first thing we should do! We all went down to the Dragon’s Maw to celebrate, and there were plenty of hot folk looking to share some time with us, and plenty of information to gather, once our collective tongues got to work. We all met up at the bar afterwards to confirm a plan, let’s see if I’ve got it all written down somewhere… Awrf! Here it is!

Buck_frame.png1) Kuda and I double teamed this AGGRESSIVE STUD of a satyr in one of the sauna pools, who was so impressed by our round 1 that he told us about a haunted mansion in the middle of the Flooded Forest, called the House of Moander, before we all tore into each other for a STELLAR round two. Yes, that was a Selune pun. Yes, I am proud of myself. MOVING ON.

Grover_frame.png2) Gaemon found a cute virgin satyrpup in the other sauna, who he coaxed into both full-on submission AND telling about another rumor in the Flooded Forest, about a sunken city. Between those two, we could DEFINITELY get our loot on, but they’re pretty far away so we’d need to plan a bit.

Boy2_frame.pngUhhhh… 4? Oh! 3) Preston was granted permission by the Big Daddy himself to spend the evening with one of his two big muscle boys in the big pillow room, but even though they definitely fucked and had fun, I don’t think he had any rumors to share. All 3 of those hunks seem much more difficult to woo, so massive props to Preston for goin’ for it and gettin’ that dick right away! AWOOO!

Varkag_frame.png……………THIS one is 4…)Timothy was with Preston in the pillows, but went after a sexy furry gladiatorman who had a scar fetish. Their pillow-talk (hehehe—OW) was about some Weir Tree wood that could be worth a LOT of gold.

Scorpio_frame.pngHEY I KNOW WHAT 5 IS SHUT UP) Gaisek made some muscly scorpion-summoning dude their tied up bitch in one of the private rooms. They kept some of the details private, but they DID share some rumor of a secret Soulforge in some ruins beneath Raven’s Bluff. I think we all agreed that seemed like the best first thing to do, since it’s LITERALLY right here, and here is closer than everywhere else…

Hayden_frame.pngAND FINALLY. YOU cuddled with a cute traveler in one of those private rooms near Gaisek, gave him a massage, and he told you about the lair of a dragon hidden behind a waterfall. Hala… Hollow… Ah! yes, Halarglautha Firewing, I’m glad you remember that part cuz that’s a mouthful! Speaking of mouthful… you then proceeded to get totally shitfaced, so I guess it’s not a huge surprise you don’t remember the rest of the night.

…Also, speaking of mouthful, I think I’ve got something you could help me out with— aw shit, it sounds like everyone else woke up too. We’ll put this on “paws” for now, cutie. *wink!

Session 7: The Rescue at the Singing Cliffs
The Sobs of Despair!

SpreaToken.png As told by Sprey D’Eagle.

Aunties Nabis and Umber, and Uncle Adler,

I know I had to promise that I wouldn’t write, but it’s been so long since I left that I just… If Uncle Adler is awake, can you tell him a story?

The crew I’m with finally found the man we’ve been hired to find, at least we’re pretty sure he’s the right man. Barkus, I think? There have been so many people and names that I can barely keep track. You all were right, I’ve gotten to meet so many people out here away from the circus! I miss home though. I miss my family.

What was I talking about? Right! Barkus. Down in the Singing Cliffs we found a cave with more of these fish folk who’d attacked the monastery and stole Barkus. After Timothy freed some merfolk we learned when Barkus’ sister was brought in and imprisoned she started crying…a lot. So much that it almost drove the merfolk crazy. And when we found her I can understand why!

Picture1.jpgWe found her and Barkus in cages and had to fight more fish folk, but the whole time my head was pounding from her cries! Everyone else kept their cool though, Kuda even turned into a massive shark at some point. I wish I could become a shark, swimming is really hard with feathers.

While releasing Barkus and his sister, Charma, we learned that the fish folk did something to her that made her cry so much, and cause everyone else so much pain. We were all more than ready to get out of there as quick as possible, but Barkus couldn’t leave without his sword, Heart’s Wake. I know Uncle Adler would have recommended we take a chance to rest before hunting down the sword, but we charged ahead.

MerrowShallowpriest.jpegWe found one more room with a BIG fish lady and two other fish folk, which we began to valiantly fight. The fight was going really well until the fish lady summoned a massive lightning bolt that zapped through me, Rolf, and Gaemon. It hurt! A lot! Now I know why you told me to never fly in a storm, Auntie Nabis. With quick thinking though, Kuda healed us and woke us up just in time for Rolf to hurt her brain with his super eloquent words.

With the enemy defeated and the sword found, it sounds like we finally get to make our long journey back to Raven’s Bluff. I…hope that I get to see you, but I won’t intrude on the circus. If Uncle Adler is awake, please let him know that his training has helped me fight and survive.

See you down the road,

Your Sprey

Session 6: Following a Trail to the Singing Cliffs
He is only a few days ahead of us.

RolfToken.pngAs told in an excerpt of an essay by Rolf the Red, as sent to the College of Eloquence.

Prompt: Regale with a tale of extravagance. Be as superfluous as possible.

[Beginning of Excerpt] … And so, the battle was won, the lobster-people slain and the monk-brothers saved! My energetic crew of friends explored the cavernous cavern, finding gifts and offerings to a sea god including a magic ring and a fancy dagger, but my superior snout discovered a serr sirupti seruptititi secret surprise in the sand: a wet bag! Inside that bag was my new best friend, a short sword that speaks directly to my brain. Timothy warned us all against cursed items with a very specific story that I didn’t really follow. Upon holding it aloft, I felt the thrill of a destiny awaiting us, but it was also, like, really chill about it. The voice called itself the Soul of the Sword of the Sextant, but friends need nicknames, so I vowed to find a suitable one (unless it doesn’t consent to that! Consent is important in all relationships). There was also a potion and a hat in the bag, so Kuda cast a ritual and learned that both help the user breathe underwater! We then all spoke to our new monk-brother friends about the monsters’ trying to kidnap Darmus and the likely location of the missing Barkus. We learned about his dead husband and mother, and how he is VERY VERY sure that his supposed-to-be-dead sister is still alive. Even though she went missing in the forest, everyone seemed pretty sure he went to search in the Singing Cliffs, so we agreed to head that way in the morning. We canvassed the rest of the (now very, very un-alive) monastery. I think Ghaisek was flirting with me by holding my arm and not moving during some of that, and Timothy gave me dating advice (which I definitely do NOT need but wrote it down later anyway just in case). We found a library, and some of my crewfriends were very mean about how I don’t like to read, but then I reminded them I was in college, so we took turns reading from Selune’s Saloon Tunes & Hymnny Hermnal before going to bed.

In the morning, us crewfriends all felt a lot stronger. We and the monk-brothers ate delicious seafood and eggs together, then we took the boat from the cavernous cavern to sail down the coast to the Singing Cliffs. We found an opening (WINK), and Ghaisek tried to speak to the guard fishmen’s minds, but they decided to not be friendly, so we were not-friendly right back! We found out that inside the cave were large pools of water, and swimming in the dark isn’t Sprey’s or Timothy’s greatest strength, so luckily the other darkseers went on ahead while I lit their way across the pool… to another pool. Full of fish monsters. And also captured mermaids. Our teamwork as crewfriends really shone through: Ghaisek’s and my magics weaving together, Gaemon’s and Sprey’s physical prowess keeping enemies at bay, Timothy slipping off to help the mermaids, Kuda’s star-guidance, and Preston’s finishing magical blows. … [End of excerpt]

  • This is page 15 of… many, many more.
  • …This fellow does know that a Bardic College isn’t an ACTUAL house of education, yes?
  • Does it matter? Look how much he wrote! Eloquence suits him perfectly.
Session 5: Seagale Under Siege

TimothyToken.pngAs recounted by Timothy.

Dear Mom,

I thought I’d let you know, I left those people in Baldur’s Gate. You were right, they were only using me. If any of them come looking for me, please don’t tell them I contacted you. I just wanted to let you know I am OK and working. I would have written you sooner, but I wasn’t sure you and Dad wanted to hear from me. Don’t think this letter is just because I want to come home, I don’t think that’d be a good idea.

I got a job on a ship and have a whole bunch of new friends. I think you’d like them, especially Rolf. We’d just finished liberating a room in a temple (don’t worry, it was a Temple of Salune, we were looking for a priest/monk or something) when he just wandered into more of the lizard-goblin things that had invaded. And he’s in college. Just like the son you always wanted.

KoalinthSergeant.jpegIt’s part of a quest we’re on to find this Barkus guy. We were looking for his brother Darmis and some other guy named Faegin. They’d been dragged away by the goblin things down a tunnel. Luckily there was a monk cowering downstairs while this maurading was going on to tell us this. Monks, right?

My friend, Ghaisek sent their imp down the tunnel, and sure enough, Darmis and Faegin were being held by the goblin things. I know, people with imps are what got me into trouble in the first place…but I think they’re different. At least they hasn’t tried to stab me.

We were wanting to be so careful as we tried to save the two brothers (like, religious brothers not real brothers though I think one of the brothers was the brother-in-law of the other brother). But Rolf and Ghaieik aren’t as sneaky as me, so we had to blast our way through them.

I know it sounds like the same stuff I was getting into before, but I pretty sure I’m working with the good guys now. I mean, I nearly died trying to save the monastery brothers. (Gaemon saved me, he’s a paladin.)

So definitely doing better and maybe will be able to visit when things calm down.

I hope Petal and Spruce are doing fine. Tell them I really do miss them.

Your son,