Campaign of the Month: May 2022

Revenge on the Kraken's Bane

Session 23: The Master's Library
And the Search for Knowledge

BuoyToken.pngAs told by Buoy and Kuda of the Bara.

Oh boy! I get to do the log again, and that makes me very happy! The crew went on a mission from the big horn fellow and said to go to master’s library at the temple of dinner. I like dinner, and I’m glad master made a temple to it. There’s a reading room at dinner we’re supposed to go to, and I guess that’s where master looks at the menu.

While they were preparing to go, master played with his new toy and created a new eyeball water mask for me! And that makes me very happy.

Kuda snatches his book back from Buoy

Forgive the teeth marks on the next few pages. Buoy heard we were going to the master’s library and he thought it was mine.

We start climbing the mountain pass. There’s not a knot that not one naughty person knew, but we eventually came up with the highwayman’s hitch to get up the pass. There’s a door with a bunch of symbols on it, and I picked up the first stick I could find that Rolf wasn’t chewing on to trace some patterns. We eventually get in to look at some pretty crystals, (which aren’t quite as shiny as the new one I found) and dispense with that before our time runs out.

To get into the reading room, Rolf is told to give up his prescription reading sword but is reluctant to do so. He finally does but not before Ghaisek tries to skirt the rules by giving that shit gibbon a knife.

Turns out the reading room is just that… you read. No books. Just read. We can request some books to research and all of us retire to different rooms to do just that. Preston looks at the porn, Ghaisek researches lost gods, Rolf looks at comics of space monsters, Timothy got into the tentacle porn, and I looked at old star maps. I’ve included my hastily written notes here, and I’ll add some other pages for the rest of the folks as they give them to me.

Kuda’s notes
This astral chart is from at least 300-500 years old.
savras at the top and much brighter (Because It’s the one I’m attuned to at the moment?)
Amaunator’s – eternal sun. Looks like equidistant stars around it.
See a dragon scale. This is Ibrandul.
See another that doesn’t look like a constellation. It doesn’t have the typical picture. It’s a triangle that is really fuzzy and cloudy. From the research this is Leira.
As I’m about to close the book, I find a hidden pocket. There’s a folded up piece of parchment. It’s a message sent signed by the author of the book. It says that there are two additional constellations that people should be aware of but didn’t include for everyone’s eyes. One looks like a flame “Tyranthraxis” and the other is a series of stars that create a serpent is “Dendar.”

Timothy researched the Order of the Kraken and discovered they were involved in the following: Attempted kidnapping of Heceton which caused the sundering of the order of giants. Attempted summoning of the princes of the Apocalypse working in conjunction with the various elements.

The next few days we spend researching some of the other areas and monsters we were given from the tricks at the bathhouse. The librarian caught the shit gibbon with the dagger, so now we’re told to go check on their mistdragon. I say send the imp, but the stars are saying we must go.

Session 22: Back in Ravens Bluff
A Little Rowdy Rest and Relaxation

As Told by The Dungeon Master.

Verbig the Helpful

Verbig_the_Helpful.jpgThe first thing our sea weary pirated do is visit their friend Verbig the Helpful at The Devil’s Hand Emporium of Magic. Verbig needs to be better at keeping notes on what his customers are looking for. The good news is he has procured or started to procure many items for our heroes. He was able to find Moon Sickle for Kuda and a Rod of the Pact Keeper for Ghaisek, but he is still working on the Cloak of Displacement for Timothy. Verbig promises to keep working on that very rare item.

The Stars Out of Phase

Kuda is asked if he has figured anything out about his new astral shard that he received. Kuda lights the shard and Ghaisek quickly realizes that the star map are the stars that they are familiar with…but they somehow seem to be from another time; probably in the past. The constellations that are shown also seem to be unknown to them. Rolf attempts to help Kuda concentrate on the new systems. While Rolf is no help what so ever in the process (he is easily dick-stracted), Kuda’s focus is drawn to a constellation that looks like a sword dripping with blood. He makes a replica of what he sees. It isn’t known to anyone, so Rolf asks his sword friend if it looks familiar. “Oh yes, that is the sign of Garagos, the Bloodreaver. He is an old god of War.” It appears that this astral shard may be connected to past gods of Faerun.

A Night in the Dragon’s Maw

Our pirate pals have been at sea for a while and they are eager to wash of the dirt and get a little dirty. So, of course they head to the Dragon’s Maw. The warm humid air only accentuates the sound of splashing water and and ecstasy within it’s halls.

Haryn_and_Sylrym.jpgKuda and Ghaisek venture into the left side pool. Kuda catches the eyes of a couple who convince him to join them. As they explore each other’s bodies the couple asks Kuda if any of his friends want to join them. Kuda beacons telepathically to the party. Since Ghaisek is in the room, he coaxes a sexy high elf paladin to join them. They enjoy the pleasures that only another man’s body can provide.

Once all have had their fill, The couple tell Kuda that they were recently adventuring on the coast where the Fire River meets the Dragon’s Reach. While there they were confronted by three old women selling trinkets. However, when they refused to buy any the women threatened to curse them. Ever since, they have been plagued by misfortune.

Peren.jpgGhaisek has opened an entire new world of pleasure to the young high elf. He tells Ghaisek that he was recently sent to Ironfang Keep to investigate rumors that Red Wizards of Thay had been seen. He is in the process of heading back to his masters to tell them that he has confirmed that the Red Wizards are definitely in the region and he fear that they may be looking for some ominous magic.

Hagan_sfw.jpgIn the meantime, Timothy has found a very buff and well endowed half-orc in the right room pool. He isn’t very smart but he makes up for his dumb in other areas. Timothy asks the man if he can be so honored as to pleasure him. The half-orc grunts and allows Timothy to proceed. He is extremely good at his job and is rewarded with a hot, juicy reward. Hagan the half-orc then goes on to tell Timothy about an ancient library located in the Earthfast Mountains. Rumors are that it is guarded by a Mist Dragon.

Norric.jpgRolf has decided to go hang out in the pillow room. There are many eager men here, but he is drawn to the buff, furry halfing named Norric. The halfling is already three sheets to the wind but is more than willing to be Rolf’s good boy. Rolf is no stranger to animalistic encounters and eagerly takes what his good boy offers. The two of them make quite the mess in the pillow room and find themselves knotted up for several minutes after both have reached completion. As they cuddle and recover, Norric tells Rolf about an old wizardry school that he has been looking for. Rumor has it that this school, once located in the Highbank Forest, has been lost for centuries. However, there have been tales of ancient spellbooks and scrolls being found in the region.

While the rest of the party is enjoying the gifts of the flesh, Preston retreats to one of the back rooms to spend some quality time with his new pup. The wispy shadows seem clear and crisp in the darkened room. However a noise startles the creature. To Preston’s shock shadow quadruples in size and turns to growl at the door. Preston calms the creature and answer the door. It is a large satyr looking for a good time. Preston informs him that he isn’t looking for company at this time. He returns to pay attention to the shadow only to see it shrink back down into a cute pup.

Session 21: The Gray Oozy Death
And an Ally Earned

TimothyToken2.pngLetter burned on an alter to Asmodeus by Timothy.

To whomever the voice in my head at night is,

Maybe it’s time I just gave in and paid attention to you. I mean, I’m tired of all this hapless shit happening to me and think I should just embrace it all.

Case in point….

Fucking oozes…. right after I bitched about people summoning stuff or touching stuff. I wind up touching a thing and having oozes fall from the ceiling on top of me. Then, of course, rather than just blasting the things, Ghaesik just uses that stupid wand. I swear to whomever I’m just going to sneak into their room and break it one of these days.

GrayOoze.pngAnd those were some beefy oozes. It took us way too long to take them down. We shot them, fireballed them…Rolf grew twice as big but didn’t get to hit them as it just liked punched him in his new large gut and took him down. Those things just kept on coming. Took beams and spells and just…. damn. (SO glad Preston and Kuda can lay that stuff down)

And the thing I was reaching for when the oozes dropped on me turned out to be…. a tin with some dust to dry powder. Where in the hell would I ever need this?

And then your little acolyte…despite us trying to be smart just runs to the gnome skeleton in the corner. Had to stop him from just grabbing shit. Gaemon stays behind to smash the thing for no reason. I mean, I’d already grabbed the Goggles of Night the gnome was wearing. I think they are trying to drive me crazy. (I know, maybe I shouldn’t assume everyone is trying to hurt me, but given my history…can you blame me?)

Then we get halfway back from the pit before we remember we forgot the thing we were going there to get. Bronzefist was happy we cleared out his mine and was happy to get the totem back. He initiated an orgy, but I just needed some one-on-one time with someone to get this frustration out. I think Rolf and Gaemon and Kuda joined in with him. I’m guessing everyone else just watched.

We’re back on the Viscous Seaward and getting ready to figure out our next move.

So, if you kept me alive on purpose and want me to start actually doing stuff for you…make this shit happen better.

Your (potential) acolyte,

Session 20: The Secret of the Sisterhood

PrestonToken.pngAs told by Preston Digitation.

Today’s performance was another day of adventuring, and there’s so many things I really want to jot down before I forget. It all started with these beautiful colors filling my vision. I’m not sure why, but it really got me thinking creatively about future magic shows…I’ll include some production thoughts in the margins here. It was quite the light show, there were even some spotlights summoned by the snake ladies. I really think they were trying to steal the show from us…not gonna happen on my watch!

At the end of the scene, we discovered a ton of wonderful treasures on an altar to Yeenoghu (I’ve made a sketch of the altar on the back of the page – maybe a future stage design?). There were a lot of things: Shiny new armor, a fancy ring, a cool mace. Kuda found a really cool crystal that showed some weird stars or something…I’ve GOT to figure out how that one is done!!

We went back to that danger pit, and Rolf yelled at the weird magic door (They called it a summoning circle?) until it mostly stopped working. We all exited (stage down?) and Gaemon was able to hit the circle with his hammer to stop it completely. We took a look around briefly, but the next scene started pretty quickly – Oozes! (Two people in the same costume?). I should probably be focusing on that instead of writi-

Session 19: More Secrets of the Sisterhood

KudaToken.pngAs told by Kuda of the Bara.

While the others rest in the tiny hut, Kuda sits cross hoofed in the center, removes the astrolabe from his belt buckle, and attaches the sapphire crystal to it. He uncorks the decanter of endless water and cups his hands while speaking softly in druidic. As water begins to pour from the decanter, he speaks again using shape water to create a perfect sphere of ice around him. Bright points of light emanate from the crystal and form star patterns which dance across the sphere. He begins to chant a prayer to Selune…

selune__1_.jpgOur Lady, who art in the Moon,
Water/snakes be our bane.
Elementals did come,
The crew got them done -
Though we didn’t deal like any damage.
Give us this day
A way out of this cave,
And help smite these devils
as we dishevel sneks as we try to level.
Lead us to the portal,
And deliver us some treasure,
For thine is the Queendom,
The Power,
And the Light beyond measure.

After creating a Kuda-sized hole in the ice, he emerges and drops into Rolf and Sir Swallow’s laps.

Ahhhh.. men.

Session 18: Deep Dark Holes
Frayed Nerves and Hidden Fiends

TimothyToken2.pngUnsent letter found crumpled in the bottom of Timothy’s bag

Captain Rolf.

I think we were all a little shaken by that devil suddenly showing up so I wanted to make you understood my side of everything that happened. By the way, I totally agree we were fine just taking a little nap and not trying to sleep in that cavern.

SkeletalMino.jpegSo, we were walking through those caverns, for some reason Gaemon, the least stealthy of us all just running ahead when he found that Minotaur skeleton with those bronze gauntlets. We told him not to touch it and he just does it anyway. I know he likes dead stuff, but if he’s just gonna randomly touch shit that will kill us. He did that same shit when we were trying to sneak up on that alter just a few weeks ago with his clanky armor.

I know he took him down fairly easily, but we just waste resources. What if another devil just showed up and we were all out of shit.

We got so distracted talking about it we almost blindly walked into that lamia and her little friend. Another devil from the snake people. An actual arcanoloth! Thank Lathander Ghaisek was on top of things! They warned us before we all just walked sauntered into the cave. It’s just lucky you and I weren’t hit by that fireball. I mean, it almost took down poor Kuda.

Aracanaloth.jpegI’ll admit, Gaemon was good for jumping down that hole, so that recklessness comes in handy…but still! And yes, that was a neat trick misty stepping to that rope. But let’s face it, Preston’s casting sickening radiance saved the day. That was a way better plan!! We were able to get away because of that and get into that hut.

But your right, we should just let it go and try to work together better.

I mean, we did seem to be back on track the next morning. Ghaesik’s imp was able to find all that treasure. I think we can agree it’s much easier to keep out of trouble with their imp scouting ahead and finding everything. Until it got ganked again.

Then, what do you know, there’s Gaemon… just touching prying away gems without looking for traps and summoning elementals to fight. I mean, as the rogue….stealing shit is my job!

Know what, never mind….I shouldn’t be so sensitive. I’m just going through some personal shit. I’m not sleeping well lately. Maybe it’s clouding my judgement. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Everything’s fine. Fine.

Session 17: The Greathorn Ore Mine
The Sssisssterhood

SpreaToken.pngAs recounted by Sprey D’Eagle.

Dear Aunt Umbra,

So…something happened that I think you could help me out with a little. I guess I should give a little backstory first though.

Bronzefist.jpgWe went out to the Great Horn Minotaurs camp to try to bring some big ol’ minotaur named Bronze Fist back to Raven’s Bluff with us. He wasn’t really keen on it at first, but he said if we helped take care of their problem in their mine nearby. Apparently they were having trouble with snake people and hyena…people?

Either way, the night before we went into the mine, Kuda gave himself some really fancy tattoos that he said would really help us in battle. Then, right as we entered the cave Rolf wanted to prep us for battle and gave a really rousing speech. It was quite animated and physical, but I felt really pumped for what awaited us in the cave even though I was still pretty nervous. It was…pretty dark in the cave, but I’ve been able to master some the Astral techniques that Uncle tried teaching me before I left and could see okay in the dark.

Gaisek tried using their imp to scout out the mine, but just as it saw what was ahead, the snake people noticed it and started preparing to attack. They mentioned something about taking us to a Pit because their Mistress was coming (they really hissed a lot while saying that). Right as I turned the corner to attack them though, I saw them and couldn’t stop myself from just walking right up to them and standing there while they attacked!

SerpLamia.jpgEveryone was able to take down the snake people without my help though, but as the last one fell we started hearing the howling. Kuda and Preston were quick thinking and laid some magical traps down that helped stop the incoming hyena people and snake people in their tracks. One of them made me fall asleep somehow, and that’s when I “saw” something weird.

I hadn’t slept with my Astral self summoned before, but I have these…memories of what was going on when I was asleep. They’re hazy though. All I know is that at some point a big devil creature appeared right by me and Gaisek. It was attacking the hyena creatures at first, but then started attacking us. Even me! Which very quickly woke me up. Maybe one of the snake people summoned it, but why would it have attacked their own people? I’m not really sure what happened, so I was hoping you’d help me figure this out.

It seems like we’ve cleared out a part of the mine, but we have no idea how much further we need to go. I think we’re all tired though, we needed a good rest before continuing further. Hopefully this’ll make it harder for them to make me fall asleep again.

Hope all is well, and that you all have been okay on the road.

Your Sprey

Session 16: The Vicious Seaward Sets Sail
The Greathorn Minotaurs

RolfToken.pngAs told by Rolf the Red, Captain of the Vicious Seaward.

Captain’s Log Day 1

I get to write that now. Because I’m the captain. Of a ship. Full of friends.


The weapon and leader-voice practice I’ve been doing actually worked! Kuda got the same number of votes as me, but he didn’t want the title. I don’t even know what to feel about that. Deep breaths, Rolf. After we celebrated a job well done with the Lady Raven, Barkus told us he had a lead on the Kraken’s Bane, but he needed help. An old friend/lover, now living in the Earthspur Mountains to the north: A minotaur named Bronzefist. Timothy asked if that was his real name, but most of us agreed a name is real if it’s what you want to be called. Like how Rolf is my name Anyway, Barkus wanted Bronzefist back as his first mate since his husband was murdered, and revenge is best with friends. Based on a tip, we go shopping for supplies: first to Verbig for magic gear upgrades and requests (I got a shield!), then the sundry shop to fill in some missing armor and equipment needs, and finally a candy shop for a barrel of 400 sugar skulls… My first order as captain was to party, and my second was to buy enough sweets to bribe a minotaur The trip will take a few days, so we cast a net for a crew to man the Vicious Seaward, then went to the Dragon’s Maw for some fun. A half-elf named Bellas fooled me into thinking he was a satyr, but I think we both enjoyed the aggressive results (I fucked him good). Timothy ran off, chased by a gnome barbarian named Dippal, and when he got back he needed another washing. Ghaisek was used by an aarakokra named Corvid that gave him some good perspective, while Gaemon had a dirty time with a human named Robin. I don’t think either of them liked their experience a lot, but not my place to guess, I guess. Preston serviced a hunky prince before getting railed, and Sprea cuddled with and was dommed by a mystical person with a lamp. Kuda watched and enjoyed it all from our mental links. Wait, can y’all read my mind when I’m writing this right now??? GO AWAY THIS IS PRIVATE CAPTAIN TIME.

Captain’s Log Day… dammit already lost count.

Bronzefist.jpgWe got to Mole Master fine and the minotaurs are fine and everything is fine concerned about some Yawntee snake people Yuan-ti magicians taking their mine and attacking their homes and stealing their totems. Bronzefist enjoyed the sugar skulls we brought and said as a favor to Barkus, he’d be happy to come find the Kraken’s Bane if we could protect his tribe from this threat. We vouched for Ghaisek and promised to help. We’ve got some fights ahead. Deep breaths, Captain Rolf.

Session 15: The Spellcasting Frogs of the Flooded Forest
Search for the Spawning Stone

Ghaisek_token.pngAs told by Ghaisek.


I am pleased to report that I have been successful in the task you put before me. As you are no doubt aware, our crew made our way deeper into the flooded forest in search of the sunken city. As we came nearer to our destination, we encountered another group of travelers in search of the city. An unforeseen working of magic, from this wand I acquired, caused Rolf to be upset by the “unnecessary” risk of random spellwork. Consequently, I opted to take a more diplomatic approach to our meeting with this group of wanderers-although my instinct was to incinerate them on the spot.

We ended up making camp with these strangers and learned from their leader, “Brother Paul”, that they were in search of the sunken city to seek out the wisdom of the so-called Frog Sage. The fervor with which Brother Paul spoke combined with the mindless obedience of his companions was immediately concerning. Fanatics certainly have their uses, but I find that left unchecked they cause more trouble than they are worth.

Gaemon, Preston, and Rolf slept in the hollow of some rocks near Brother Paul’s camp, while Sprea, Kuda, and I slept in various places outside. Timothy of course has a penchant for getting into trouble and opted to sleep with brother and one of his companions in the main tent.

Green_slaad-5e.jpgIn the middle of the night, Brother Paul attacked Timothy and revealed himself to be a green slaad. Once the ruckus woke the rest of our group from sleep I returned my thoughts to a more incendiary solution.

As fights go, the crew acquitted themselves quite well. I’d even suggest that it was one of our more cleanly executed battles -especially in light of how potentially poorly we were positioned for such a fight.

GraySlaad.jpgWe continued on to the sunken city itself where we encountered a spellcasting grey slaad. The crew proved quite capable of dealing with the threat and were quite helpful in following your instructions to sever the link between the “spawning stone” and the Prime Material. They did have some questions regarding the source of my information that I did not see fit to answer at the time. A small bit of pressure on Timothy in regards to his connection to our Master proved helpful in convincing him to encourage the rest of the crew to carry on without asking too many questions. That said, I imagine the time is quickly coming where they will try and nail me down on some answers. It may serve purpose of finding out more about Timothy’s past in order to leverage his support.

After we completed our business in the sunken city we returned to Raven’s Bluff via Ylraphon and found that the construction of our ship The Vicious Seaward has been completed. We are headed back to the Dragon’s Claw Tavern to speak with Lady Raven and Barkus and receive our next task.

Hail Asmodeus,


Session 14: What is Red and Blue and Green All Over
If It Looks Like a Cult

GaemonToken.pngAs told by Gaemon Swallows.

My dear sweet Umberllee,
I write this soliloquy as I think of thee

After picking off pixies, we purveyed the praying perch
Scratching off a rune we gave the site a search

The base beheld a brand, the Black hand of lord Bane
Kuda cleansed sigil from stone, to cease this false gods claim

Onward we traveled, Timothy trailing tidings of thieves
We stumbled upon wicked smell of death amongst trees

CorpseFlower.pngMaking our approach, Kuda found a corpse flower
I think that he smokes it to create his odd star power

As Kuda culled cuttings, the Cordia came to be a carnivorous cabbage
Seeping smells sheepened the stomachs of Sprea and I most savage

The vile vegetation vomited vicious victimized ventures of yore
Gaesik’s gaze glazed, grimly launching eldritch blast, as we’ve seen before

Preston’s fingers flew fabulous flames frying fatally our foes, smoking from the tips
Rolfs poniard projectile pierced plant on point ,thrown from the hips

Timothy swam slime in stream, shooting safely from shore
Taking one for the team as a Navy Seal Otter, adorbe

With the war almost won Gaesick wove his wacky wand for wauggery
And by perchance poofed the prized plant from the plotted perch, Buggery

Lost in soaked swamp Sprea soared to the skys
Spotting smoke from a campfire we surmised

Upon careful approach Timothy and team A made new friends
Though still skeptical team B hung back round the bends

Priest.jpgBrother Paul seemed…. to nice, and offly fond of a frog
Seemed possibly their minds might be lost in a fog

Braun, Alitta and Lexi add, make for a marry ol band
Against better judgement we all walk up and join clan

After an arm wrestle, a dinner, and slight exchange of tales
We made up our camp and our group plans to set sail

Timothy forgetting his supplies, with mischievous intent
Decided to stay with Brother Paul in his tent

I don’t claim to know much about this wild land
But staying with him seems a terrible plan

As I write, as I fight, cleansing your world of foul blight in name of the
Bless me, in your way, that I can bring your chaos to the fray my sweet Umberllee