Campaign of the Month: May 2022

Revenge on the Kraken's Bane

Session 11: Soulforge Strikes Back
Does Anyone Speak Dwarvish?

TimothyToken2.pngExcerpt from Timothy’s Journal

14 Nightal, 1490_

We were near the Soul Forge with all the dead bodies and Kuda was going to touch it to see what it did. But the moment he touched it, it began to glow and, of course, all the bodies popped up and started attacking us, which shook up Geamon and Ghaisek who stood there…. just stood there…. for like 6 seconds! Then Preston just drops a fireball, barely missing me.

HuskZombie.jpegAnd these weren’t normal bodies…they were explode-y bodies!

Rolf distracted the guy next me so I could get away before he took me out. Then he really got really smacked down, then stunned. Luckily, I was able to kill the thing before he got hit again and Preston moved in to keep him safe while he couldn’t move. (For just a second, Rolf was kinda hot stunned and bleeding…is that an Asmodeus thing? Not sure I’m comfortable with it. Gonna have to ask Ghaisek.)

Question, journal…. does it count as a kill if the thing you stabbed a lot was already dead?

The soul forge just kept glowing, even after we dropped all the ghoulies. Tried hitting it and nothing… well took some damage. I thouight it had instructions, but I couldn’t read it. No one could read it. You know who read it. Rolf’s fucking sword. Rolf’s fucking sword could read it. When Rolf said the name “Moradin the Forger of Souls” it stopped glowing and stunning everybody.

We took the hammer from the forge…hope no one needs it. It’s in my pocket. Took a rubbing of the anvil as proof we were there. Then we slept there. It was cold and damp, but Rolf was very warm.

The next morning, Gaemon and Ghaisek went statue tipping, and we all know what happens when we let them on their own. They found a box in the bottom of one of them which said Property of the Golden Hands of Vergadain. Sprea picked up and put in the pocket.

Virbig was happy to see us. We gave him the rubbing from the soul forge. Then he wanted to map which I still say wasn’t part of the original deal. Didn’t even say goodbye or thank you when we left. Rude.

Vergadain_symbol.jpgAfter cleaning up and a quick orgy, we finally opened that box. This giant mouth jumps out and says “Similar faces are good hiding places.” Lot’s o’ goodies in there, lots of coins, some potions, and really nice arrows. Rolf tried to eat a coin because he thought the coins had more coins in them.

So now we are off to the Flooded Forrest.

P.S. Note to self, keep an eye out for things with that statues face.

P.P.S. We also finally named our ship…. Vicious Seaward!!

Session 10: Searching for the Soulforge
The Lost Shrine in Sarbreen

PrestonToken.png As told by Preston Digitation.

Short rest back outside
Timothy ordered Goggles of Night
Sprea nabbed a Clockwork Amulet
Went back to sewer
A big hole! Rolf investigates…we all follow down the rope
We explore the ruins…
Rust monsters! (oh and a XORN)
Continue exploring
Discover an altar/anvil, with some dead bodies…looks like the previous exploring group didn’t make it :(
No obvious cause of death. They’re just dead.


Session 9: Searching for Sarbreen
You Otyugh Come Prepared!

buoyToken.pngAs told by Buoy (in the voice of Dug from Up)

Hi there! Oh boy! I get to tell the story this week, and I am very excited! Master let me come down into the steamy room and play in the splash pool while he has special play time with some new friends.

They decided to stay in town, and the rest of his friends all went to go do things. I heard them talking later, and they said some went to a lying berry. Mr. Otter found some kind of blue prints for the sewers. I do not know what kind of berry leaves blue paw prints, but it must be big and blue. Maybe one day I will find out! Mr. Slithers one seemed to have difficulty concentrating on anything. I think he wanted to be back in the steamy room for special play time too. Mr. Feathers seemed to just sleep or something. I think he doesn’t sleep well because sometimes I see some him having to be tied down while he moans and yells. Mr. Blue said that where we were was built on an ancient dwarven city called “Sardine.” I like sardines. They’re very salty. Everyone in the group seems to like salty things in their mouth, and that makes me very happy. The Sardine was a pirate city and had something to do with someone named Mohander. I wonder how many more hands he has?

Verbig_the_Helpful.jpgMr. Red went to talk to the pretty feather lady. She didn’t know much, but his tail wagged a lot when he talked to her. Mr. Big went to talk to someone who is also very big. He says if we go down into the sewers he’ll give us something that will help us go back in the water. I am very excited about going back in the water. My master went to talk to a big man with big teeth and smelled like home. He can help us go back in the water too. I saw master shut one eye a blow a kiss at him. I think they will be good friends.

Otyugh.jpegMaster and his friends all go down into the sewers. I am ready to not be down here, but I am an expert tracker and I will find the thing for my master. I think it must the lying berry with blue paw prints. I will find it for him! I dash down the sewer and see a big thing. It is very big, and it is a thing. Everything went very dark, but I know master will call me back to him soon because he loves me.

Session 8: Return to Raven's Bluff
And a night in the Dragon's Maw.

RolfToken.png As told by Rolf.

We all got laid. Now get out of my room and let me get some damn sleep. *rolls over and immediately begins snoring.

*Some time later…

Okay, you SERIOUSLY don’t remember last night? Fuck, fine, lets start from what you DO remember…

Let’s seeeee… We’d just gotten back from saving Barkus from the merfolk. I still can’t believe that Gaemon and Ghaisek decided to keep exploring the cave with all of us still not fully recovered from that huge fight. No, I’m NOT just saying that cuz Kuda was busy sucking my dick! Ok. Maybe a little. Whatever, once we all caught up to them, those sharks were easy meat and that sorceress had no chance in the Hells. Yes, I do have to flex while saying that. Shut up.

Back to last night. We got back to the bar and the Lady was very thankful, promising us a ship of our own within a tenday as reward, and to enjoy ourselves til then. I TOLD you assholes that getting a ship was the first thing we should do! We all went down to the Dragon’s Maw to celebrate, and there were plenty of hot folk looking to share some time with us, and plenty of information to gather, once our collective tongues got to work. We all met up at the bar afterwards to confirm a plan, let’s see if I’ve got it all written down somewhere… Awrf! Here it is!

Buck_frame.png1) Kuda and I double teamed this AGGRESSIVE STUD of a satyr in one of the sauna pools, who was so impressed by our round 1 that he told us about a haunted mansion in the middle of the Flooded Forest, called the House of Moander, before we all tore into each other for a STELLAR round two. Yes, that was a Selune pun. Yes, I am proud of myself. MOVING ON.

Grover_frame.png2) Gaemon found a cute virgin satyrpup in the other sauna, who he coaxed into both full-on submission AND telling about another rumor in the Flooded Forest, about a sunken city. Between those two, we could DEFINITELY get our loot on, but they’re pretty far away so we’d need to plan a bit.

Boy2_frame.pngUhhhh… 4? Oh! 3) Preston was granted permission by the Big Daddy himself to spend the evening with one of his two big muscle boys in the big pillow room, but even though they definitely fucked and had fun, I don’t think he had any rumors to share. All 3 of those hunks seem much more difficult to woo, so massive props to Preston for goin’ for it and gettin’ that dick right away! AWOOO!

Varkag_frame.png……………THIS one is 4…)Timothy was with Preston in the pillows, but went after a sexy furry gladiatorman who had a scar fetish. Their pillow-talk (hehehe—OW) was about some Weir Tree wood that could be worth a LOT of gold.

Scorpio_frame.pngHEY I KNOW WHAT 5 IS SHUT UP) Gaisek made some muscly scorpion-summoning dude their tied up bitch in one of the private rooms. They kept some of the details private, but they DID share some rumor of a secret Soulforge in some ruins beneath Raven’s Bluff. I think we all agreed that seemed like the best first thing to do, since it’s LITERALLY right here, and here is closer than everywhere else…

Hayden_frame.pngAND FINALLY. YOU cuddled with a cute traveler in one of those private rooms near Gaisek, gave him a massage, and he told you about the lair of a dragon hidden behind a waterfall. Hala… Hollow… Ah! yes, Halarglautha Firewing, I’m glad you remember that part cuz that’s a mouthful! Speaking of mouthful… you then proceeded to get totally shitfaced, so I guess it’s not a huge surprise you don’t remember the rest of the night.

…Also, speaking of mouthful, I think I’ve got something you could help me out with— aw shit, it sounds like everyone else woke up too. We’ll put this on “paws” for now, cutie. *wink!

Session 7: The Rescue at the Singing Cliffs
The Sobs of Despair!

SpreaToken.png As told by Sprey D’Eagle.

Aunties Nabis and Umber, and Uncle Adler,

I know I had to promise that I wouldn’t write, but it’s been so long since I left that I just… If Uncle Adler is awake, can you tell him a story?

The crew I’m with finally found the man we’ve been hired to find, at least we’re pretty sure he’s the right man. Barkus, I think? There have been so many people and names that I can barely keep track. You all were right, I’ve gotten to meet so many people out here away from the circus! I miss home though. I miss my family.

What was I talking about? Right! Barkus. Down in the Singing Cliffs we found a cave with more of these fish folk who’d attacked the monastery and stole Barkus. After Timothy freed some merfolk we learned when Barkus’ sister was brought in and imprisoned she started crying…a lot. So much that it almost drove the merfolk crazy. And when we found her I can understand why!

Picture1.jpgWe found her and Barkus in cages and had to fight more fish folk, but the whole time my head was pounding from her cries! Everyone else kept their cool though, Kuda even turned into a massive shark at some point. I wish I could become a shark, swimming is really hard with feathers.

While releasing Barkus and his sister, Charma, we learned that the fish folk did something to her that made her cry so much, and cause everyone else so much pain. We were all more than ready to get out of there as quick as possible, but Barkus couldn’t leave without his sword, Heart’s Wake. I know Uncle Adler would have recommended we take a chance to rest before hunting down the sword, but we charged ahead.

MerrowShallowpriest.jpegWe found one more room with a BIG fish lady and two other fish folk, which we began to valiantly fight. The fight was going really well until the fish lady summoned a massive lightning bolt that zapped through me, Rolf, and Gaemon. It hurt! A lot! Now I know why you told me to never fly in a storm, Auntie Nabis. With quick thinking though, Kuda healed us and woke us up just in time for Rolf to hurt her brain with his super eloquent words.

With the enemy defeated and the sword found, it sounds like we finally get to make our long journey back to Raven’s Bluff. I…hope that I get to see you, but I won’t intrude on the circus. If Uncle Adler is awake, please let him know that his training has helped me fight and survive.

See you down the road,

Your Sprey

Session 6: Following a Trail to the Singing Cliffs
He is only a few days ahead of us.

RolfToken.pngAs told in an excerpt of an essay by Rolf the Red, as sent to the College of Eloquence.

Prompt: Regale with a tale of extravagance. Be as superfluous as possible.

[Beginning of Excerpt] … And so, the battle was won, the lobster-people slain and the monk-brothers saved! My energetic crew of friends explored the cavernous cavern, finding gifts and offerings to a sea god including a magic ring and a fancy dagger, but my superior snout discovered a serr sirupti seruptititi secret surprise in the sand: a wet bag! Inside that bag was my new best friend, a short sword that speaks directly to my brain. Timothy warned us all against cursed items with a very specific story that I didn’t really follow. Upon holding it aloft, I felt the thrill of a destiny awaiting us, but it was also, like, really chill about it. The voice called itself the Soul of the Sword of the Sextant, but friends need nicknames, so I vowed to find a suitable one (unless it doesn’t consent to that! Consent is important in all relationships). There was also a potion and a hat in the bag, so Kuda cast a ritual and learned that both help the user breathe underwater! We then all spoke to our new monk-brother friends about the monsters’ trying to kidnap Darmus and the likely location of the missing Barkus. We learned about his dead husband and mother, and how he is VERY VERY sure that his supposed-to-be-dead sister is still alive. Even though she went missing in the forest, everyone seemed pretty sure he went to search in the Singing Cliffs, so we agreed to head that way in the morning. We canvassed the rest of the (now very, very un-alive) monastery. I think Ghaisek was flirting with me by holding my arm and not moving during some of that, and Timothy gave me dating advice (which I definitely do NOT need but wrote it down later anyway just in case). We found a library, and some of my crewfriends were very mean about how I don’t like to read, but then I reminded them I was in college, so we took turns reading from Selune’s Saloon Tunes & Hymnny Hermnal before going to bed.

In the morning, us crewfriends all felt a lot stronger. We and the monk-brothers ate delicious seafood and eggs together, then we took the boat from the cavernous cavern to sail down the coast to the Singing Cliffs. We found an opening (WINK), and Ghaisek tried to speak to the guard fishmen’s minds, but they decided to not be friendly, so we were not-friendly right back! We found out that inside the cave were large pools of water, and swimming in the dark isn’t Sprey’s or Timothy’s greatest strength, so luckily the other darkseers went on ahead while I lit their way across the pool… to another pool. Full of fish monsters. And also captured mermaids. Our teamwork as crewfriends really shone through: Ghaisek’s and my magics weaving together, Gaemon’s and Sprey’s physical prowess keeping enemies at bay, Timothy slipping off to help the mermaids, Kuda’s star-guidance, and Preston’s finishing magical blows. … [End of excerpt]

  • This is page 15 of… many, many more.
  • …This fellow does know that a Bardic College isn’t an ACTUAL house of education, yes?
  • Does it matter? Look how much he wrote! Eloquence suits him perfectly.
Session 5: Seagale Under Siege

TimothyToken.pngAs recounted by Timothy.

Dear Mom,

I thought I’d let you know, I left those people in Baldur’s Gate. You were right, they were only using me. If any of them come looking for me, please don’t tell them I contacted you. I just wanted to let you know I am OK and working. I would have written you sooner, but I wasn’t sure you and Dad wanted to hear from me. Don’t think this letter is just because I want to come home, I don’t think that’d be a good idea.

I got a job on a ship and have a whole bunch of new friends. I think you’d like them, especially Rolf. We’d just finished liberating a room in a temple (don’t worry, it was a Temple of Salune, we were looking for a priest/monk or something) when he just wandered into more of the lizard-goblin things that had invaded. And he’s in college. Just like the son you always wanted.

KoalinthSergeant.jpegIt’s part of a quest we’re on to find this Barkus guy. We were looking for his brother Darmis and some other guy named Faegin. They’d been dragged away by the goblin things down a tunnel. Luckily there was a monk cowering downstairs while this maurading was going on to tell us this. Monks, right?

My friend, Ghaisek sent their imp down the tunnel, and sure enough, Darmis and Faegin were being held by the goblin things. I know, people with imps are what got me into trouble in the first place…but I think they’re different. At least they hasn’t tried to stab me.

We were wanting to be so careful as we tried to save the two brothers (like, religious brothers not real brothers though I think one of the brothers was the brother-in-law of the other brother). But Rolf and Ghaieik aren’t as sneaky as me, so we had to blast our way through them.

I know it sounds like the same stuff I was getting into before, but I pretty sure I’m working with the good guys now. I mean, I nearly died trying to save the monastery brothers. (Gaemon saved me, he’s a paladin.)

So definitely doing better and maybe will be able to visit when things calm down.

I hope Petal and Spruce are doing fine. Tell them I really do miss them.

Your son,

Session 4: Journey to Seagale Monastery
Bully Bullywugs

Ghaisek_token.pngAs recounted by Ghaisek

Well my lord, it seems as though we may be making some progress after all. After finishing up with the witch woman and her goblin cohorts- to say nothing of those abhorrent walking scarecrows- we returned to the steading of Stana Turuk for information on the wayward Zhent Barkus.

According to the halfling, our best recourse for finding Barkus is to follow his path to the Seagale Monastery and seek out his brother Darmis. Darmis, according to Stana, is close friends with her brother-in-law Faegin. Apparently, the three of them (Darmis, Faegin, and Stana’s late husband Jamis) spent a good deal of time together at the Seagale monastery. Hopefully, when we arrive

Before we set out for the monastery, the group took some time to familiarize each other with some of our newfound abilities. The satyr Kuda seems to have a talent for some very “hands on” personal divination. Timothy shows some particularly interesting traits as well, but it’s his familiarity with your iconography – and the accompanying unease – that I find most intriguing. The foolish Imp, Caliban, that you sent me has proven useful so far but it has some attitude problems that may need to be trained away.

bullywug.jpegThe two day travel to the Seagale monastery proved largely uneventful. Near the end of the first day of travel we were accosted by some bullywugs when we attempted to cross the river. Nuisance creatures to be sure, the bullywugs managed to inflict non-trivial injuries on Sprea’ before we dispatched them.

Mid/late afternoon on our second day of travel we arrived at the Seagale monastery. On first glance the monastery seemed intact if a bit quiet. However, further inspection revealed that something was very wrong. A surreptitious entrance through a rear door to the monastery has led to the discovery of many corpses and a number of foul creatures likely responsible for the slaughter.

Session 3: Taruk Homestead
Goblins Stole my Scarecrow!

PrestonToken.pngAs recounted by Preston Digitation

D&D Notes:

  • We are directed to Stana Taruck (halfling woman)
  • A visit to the Broken Anvil Tavern
    - Bartender directed us to farm further up the road, east.
    - Rolf buys everyone drinks and shots (the firespirits are very good)
    - A quick shopping trip
  • Goblins!
    - (They ran away)
  • Stana directs us to Barkus, and provides some info
    - “The incident” – villagers attacked his mother.
    The children ran into the forest to hide.
    His mother, Vaska, was killed. His father, Calla, was arrested.
    His brother Darmus and his sister Charma got lost in the forest?
    Barkus ran away to be a sailor
    Darmus showed up at Stana’s door a tenday later, and she raised him
    Darmus later went to a monastery.
    - Barkus visited Stana. Found mother’s starfish charm.
  • Back to tracking the Goblins!
    - We finded them?
    - A cave!
    - A flash of light, blinded!
    - Killed the goblins
  • At the back of goblin cave, creepy old woman: “Strooga”
    - Says the goblins were her body guards
    - Says it’s OK that we killed them, she’s “making more body guards” (Scarecrows?)
    - We fight her…she’s a mage and awakens some scarecrows to help her fight!

(polish to come soon. Sorry!)

Harpy, I hardly know thee

Session 2: 12th of the Nightal fair sea 3rd day

GaemonSwallows.pngAs recounted by Gaemon Swallows

Our story returns on the Silent Dagger, on a trip for the Lady Raven
After cracking some crooked kraken skulls, a warning recited the last man standing craven

His mouth did foam after talk of tentacles, so we laid the remains out to sea
Not before taking their ship for our own, we are still pirates you see

A rest and orgy, with the motion of ocean, made for a fine view for thee
Though the crew did abstain, as jobs must be a pain, all’s well more for me

We continue our journey to Hillsfar, finding a peak of the bells of the deep
Thought just as in view, we lost control of our crew, who started steering us for the keep

A swarm of vultures rolled from the fog, but was not the true villain who controlled the poor sods
A harpy at heart was taking the men, not before we did, get our good shots in
Preston took haste, knocking too much sense into our mate
Gaemons javelin flew true, though still losing the crew
Lost control of the sails, and a discounted crew, the captain took charge, to see our ship through
Our prize ship lost, in a scuff with the shore, but a small price to pay for still living aboard
Our team did eliminate all birds from the field, bringing the Harpy to front with murderous zeal
Timothy swung in from Kudas mighty meat, and with a swing of his “short”-sword did the Harpy taste defeat

Arriving at the ports of Hillsfar, we needed disguises or would not get far
The great law of humanity, who some think insanity, made racists of townsfolk and guard
Gaemon and Gaesick took lead, as the only ones passing you see
For humans not straights, we head for the gates, leading our nexus of mates
After being extorted we had not resorted, to our ways of violence and had all things sorted
This town full of racist, so we got out in quick paces, and onward we make with the heavens good graces


My cliffnotes, before I made them more fun
On the Silent Dagger gifted from Lady Layla
We head for Hillsfar
Bell of the deep
War of the netherless, you know uppity mages, doing uppity mage shit
Half of a city crashed in a forest and the rest into the moon sea
Welcome to the bell of the deep boys
Avoiding the line of the Moon Sea
12th of the Nightal fair sea 3rd day
As Vulchers entered the air, a charme took some of our good men
Preston beat a man to death, but I suppose he is not charmed anymore
As the Harpie approached she was thusly slain by Timothy, with a handful of Kudas meat to keep his balance and his “short” sword he did lay the Harpy back to the sea.
Upon arrival a quick discussion of our best approach into town, racists.
The great law of humanity
We decided I and Gaesick should lead passing most for human, with the rest in hoods
Should take the lead to get us to the farm town of cough-hack-weeze
Payed off a guard who was a racist asshole
Shrouded in disguise, our less than human companions passed with us and made it from the city east to see the wizards farm.