Campaign of the Month: May 2022

Revenge on the Kraken's Bane

Session 28: The Ardragon's Agreement
And the Harper's Help

KudaToken.pngAs told by Kuda of the Bara.

Kuda quietly leaves the Dragon’s Maw and hoofs down to the shore. He whispers to the water, and a small V wake shoots away after a short conversation. Somewhere in the Sea of Fallen Stars, a slippery fish slips aside a ship of supple vines where satyrs screw in the sun. The fish calls out in Kuda’s voice:

Bara Boys -

I hope this slippery dick finds you well. I’ve been thinking of you all since you came, and I promise to send more dick when I can.

Preston was still mentally ill, so he, Rolf, and Timothy went back to the Eldath priestess, Estelle Greymantle. I stayed with Ghaisek and Gaemon in the very likely event they got into trouble and needed a healing hand. I’m not sure what happened while they were away, but Preston felt better, Timothy was acting more secretive than usual, and Rolf was… well, Rolf.

While they were gone, we tried various ways to get through the barrier but were not successful. Gaemon finally remembered he could summon animals too, so now we have this horse with us. His name is Neigh Sayer, and he has a fancy hat. I love him. With nothing else better do we, we romped a bit. The Bara do it better.

Ghaisek spooked up a ghost (big surprise) who could get through the wards. Preston took the ghost deep in him and did the deed. Turns out the ghosts were all teachers and students who were trapped by the school’s wards. They asked us to bury their bones, and I had never wished for mold earth more. We explored around the school and found an alchemy jug, an awesome ring, a fantastic cape, and some tools which I’m trying to figure out.

We then had to find a way to get Neigh Sayer out of the hole, and I explained to Gaemon how I can poof Buoy to a safe place and quickly bring him back. I don’t think he was able to figure it out which isn’t surprising for a follower of the bitch queen. After several failed attempts, I turned into a giant eagle and carried him out. We told the villagers who had been throwing their trash there to stop since the area is a graveyard. They were not happy, but I’m sure Estelle will enforce it.

We made our way back to Ravensbluff and met a dickish friend of Barkus. By the looks of him, I assume he had blue balls which probably accounted for the dickishness. I would have helped, but I think Preston was into him. After some brief fun playing with Timothy and Rolf’s tools at the bath house, I played with those other tools and snuck to the shore to send this message. Barkus expects to see us this morning, so I will end here and dream of being on the sea with you once again.

May Selune’s silver stars watch over and guide you,

P.S. I’m almost out of seaweed. Send moar plz.

Kuda smiles longingly at the sea as the slippery dick fish slips away. He makes his way back to the Dragon’s Maw to snuggle up again with Timothy and Rolf.

Session 26: The Lair of Firewing
Where are these Hell monster coming from

GaemonToken.pngAs told by Gaemon Swallows.

At a long rest from another of our glorious battles, I find my mind in uneasy waters. I am plunged into visions, a nightmare of drowning in an inky dark abyss. As I gasp for breath the face of Umberlee peers from the Void, she blows a kiss and I awaken to find myself… In a dinghy? on the open waters with nothing visible for yalms but a small spec of light on the horizon.

Making haphazard use of my shield for an oar, I arrived at land, made my way back to Ravensbluff and heading on to track down my crew. How did I wind up out there, what happened after the battle. Was I on another bender at the bath-house? \

I heard tale of their hunt for Halard Glotha Firewings abandoned lair. Following their trail of corpses and the smell of hardy seamen. I finally gazed my crew off in the distance, and bolted to return to my companions.

I come upon them standing over corpses felled at the Dimotholin Temple made to rubble. Seems they already had things handled here. They barely seem to notice I was even gone…

We continued our way up the mountain, and found cave behind a waterfall, full of gold and dragon bones. Sounds to good to be true, and it was. A blast of petrification from the Dragon bones hits all but Ghaisek , weather fate or devils involved I’m unsure.

Our captain was blown down by the blasted breath, so I quickly port over and brought him back to his feet. Timothy got surrounded quickly in my absence and Rolf rushed back to his aid, showing his Shield is a shower, and a grower ;D. Preston precisely placed a fireball and blasted a bulk of the bones to bits. The one remain, yet turned in fear from Timothys mere gaze, I don’t know if I like the new look in his eyes. What is this mask he’s got now… Kuda bathed the dragon by the stars light, crisping it nicely.

After felling my arrows, I see out of the corner of my eye I see a Hell-Wasp appear behind the rock in the back of the cave, just as Ghaisek left my line of sight again… Not suspicious at all. Though I will say, at least it did not come for me and the crew this time.

Moments later a 2nd blast from the Dragons Breath blew Myself, Rolf, and Kuda off our feet.

When I awoke again the battle was over and we were victorious. Somehow again Ghaisek remain untouched, recanting the tale of his little demon Kalaban laying the beast low with a final blow through the dragons boney skull. Huzzah!

Where the hell did that giant Hell-Wasp go, also where did it come from. Anyway, we lined our pockets with gold, and goodies. Kuda fashioned us a fine hut for a rest before heading on to our next adventure.

I have a mask to hide my own intentions now as well it seems.

Dark lady watch over us heathens.

Session 25: Journey to the River's Head
Fire River is Made of Water

Ghaisek_token.pngAs told by Ghaisek.

Mistress Andariel,

I am continuing to travel with the crew of The Vicious Seaward in an effort to accrue power and establish connections on your behalf in the Moonsea region. We have not gone much farther than my last update after we saved the Mist Dragon from that foul Deep Dragon at the behest of the scholars from the Master’s Library.

We decided to stop through an abandoned temple to Dumathoin on the way to the rumored location of an abandoned dragon’s lair. I can’t for certain whether anyone else on the crew has any ulterior motives for investigating these places or if, as I suspect, it is simply an opportunity for treasure and glory. I will be sure to pass on any useful or curious information to you-particularly any secrets of Dumathoin that we uncover.

Now, onto the important things. As we rested on the river bank the druid, Kuda, felt the call of Tyranthraxis calling us towards the fabled pool of radiance. At this point we have too little information for me to make any reasonable assumptions about the implications; but it is certainly a thing to keep an eye on.

Speaking of things to keep an eye on, it might be worth the effort to send some agents up to Avernus and figure out what that uppity bitch Tiamat is scheming. As we approached the abandoned temple to Dumathoin that I mentioned earlier we encountered some servants of hers. An obnoxious, although attractive, dragonborn bearing the mark of Tiamat waylaid us with some strange Draconian humanoids. We did great violence to them and killed them, however in the fighting one of the Draconians nearly turned Timothy to stone. According to my reckoning, this is an unacceptable overstepping on the part of Tiamat’s lackeys. I personally will take offense if my friend Timothy should be killed in such a meaningless and useless fashion. But more importantly our master, Asmodeus, will almost certainly be quite put out if a mortal he has plans for is killed unnecessarily.

I will continue to keep you updated as things progress.

Your servant,


Session 24: One Dragon Too Many
Whose liar is it anyway?

TimothyToken2.pngAs told by Timothy.

Hey Petal,

I tried writing to Mom some time ago but never heard back. I guess they are still mad at me. Are you? I know things got scary, but I never meant for anything bad to happen.

I’m no longer running with that crowd, so things are much better. I have new friends who seem to like me and want me around, I’ve found a way to put my skills to use and I have someone who is helping me learn to channel my stuff!

I was thinking about you because I made friends with an actual dragon, a nice one! In fact, I saved its life with the help of the crew I’m running with.

We had gone to this huge library in the mountains…it was huge. Well, one of the people in this crew though they would be clever and sneak a dagger past this portal thingy and we kinda got in trouble, but not bad trouble. Anyway, to make up for it, the librarians asked us to go check on this Mist Dragon! Make sure it was OK. How cool is that!

The crew and I had to climb up this steep cliff along this narrow path. It was very scary. Our captian Rolf was so brave we all just followed his example. I drew a picture of him on the back so you can see how handsome he is. He’s also sweet and fun to be around. You’d like him!

Once we got to the cave, Ghaisek sent his imp inside to get the lay of the land. The imp’s name is Caliban. Ghaisek is very mean to it, so I don’t think it gives it’s best to him. They are another guy on the crew, Captain Rolf seems to trust him but I could tell him some things!!

Anyway, the imp say that there were some drow in the cave and that made us suspicious. Also all these strange purple mushrooms. Now, I know Uncle Yip would tell you to always be suspicious of drow, but that is not true. These drow were just suspicious because they were in a Mist Dragon’s cave and seemed to be part of a gang.

So Ghaisek and I started sneaking through the cave to see if we could get a drop on them and it was while sneaking, I met the dragon!! It seemed to be sleeping, but I knew something funny was going on.

Once we were all in place, Captain Rolf signaled us to let the fight commence! It was epic because you know what the drow had with them….a giant spider!! It was very scary. Preston was knocked unconscious. I nearly went down. Ghaisek was surrounded by drow. Kuda was rushing to try and help Captain Rolf. Luckily, I had a magic gem in my pocket and was able to call up some help.

Now, even though I don’t like how Ghaisek treats his imp and I think he is not always honest with Rolf, I still sent my elemental friend to help him. It’s important to remember Petal to do the right thing by your crew no matter what!!! My elemental fried was able to rescue Ghaisek and then go and help out Captain Rolf!

With the drow gone, I thought the dragon would be able to talk to me, but instead I heard something mean. “Get out and I’ll let you live” Now I didn’t think a mist dragon that works for the library would be that mean, but we needed to recoup from our battle.

Now we had to figure out how to approach this. By this time, Captain Rolf had accidently stepped on one of these mushrooms and the spores from it made him instantly drunk. We knew we had to get rid of those to help fight whatever else was in there with the Mist Dragon. Of course, Ghaisek decided to set off a fireball and burn the mushrooms away, angering the other creature.

Guess what it was, Petal. It was ANOTHER DRAGON! But this was a mean mushroom dragon. Preston and Kuda acted quickly to try and contain the dragon behind a fire wall and fire off another fireball on it. Once the firewall went up, we all heard the dragon fighting something, but the damn wall kept us from seeing. I was still able to get a few shots off.

This other dragon, however, could dig and popped up besides Captain Rolf. Everyone kept trying to take it down, but it took me to do it Petal. It was a bad dragon who was hurting the Mist Dragon. You would have been so proud or your big brother.

Anyway, after we cleared all the mushrooms off the mist dragon he was so grateful, he gave us some gold and Rolf a special shield and me special mask!

Listen, I don’t think Mom and Dad would be like us talking, so don’t tell them we are. I put some gold in the package for you, don’t tell Dad! If you wanna get a hold of me, you can write to me in Raven’s Bluff. I think it should be safe now.

Wish I could be with you on your special day.

Your big brother,

Session 23: The Master's Library
And the Search for Knowledge

BuoyToken.pngAs told by Buoy and Kuda of the Bara.

Oh boy! I get to do the log again, and that makes me very happy! The crew went on a mission from the big horn fellow and said to go to master’s library at the temple of dinner. I like dinner, and I’m glad master made a temple to it. There’s a reading room at dinner we’re supposed to go to, and I guess that’s where master looks at the menu.

While they were preparing to go, master played with his new toy and created a new eyeball water mask for me! And that makes me very happy.

Kuda snatches his book back from Buoy

Forgive the teeth marks on the next few pages. Buoy heard we were going to the master’s library and he thought it was mine.

We start climbing the mountain pass. There’s not a knot that not one naughty person knew, but we eventually came up with the highwayman’s hitch to get up the pass. There’s a door with a bunch of symbols on it, and I picked up the first stick I could find that Rolf wasn’t chewing on to trace some patterns. We eventually get in to look at some pretty crystals, (which aren’t quite as shiny as the new one I found) and dispense with that before our time runs out.

To get into the reading room, Rolf is told to give up his prescription reading sword but is reluctant to do so. He finally does but not before Ghaisek tries to skirt the rules by giving that shit gibbon a knife.

Turns out the reading room is just that… you read. No books. Just read. We can request some books to research and all of us retire to different rooms to do just that. Preston looks at the porn, Ghaisek researches lost gods, Rolf looks at comics of space monsters, Timothy got into the tentacle porn, and I looked at old star maps. I’ve included my hastily written notes here, and I’ll add some other pages for the rest of the folks as they give them to me.

Kuda’s notes
This astral chart is from at least 300-500 years old.
savras at the top and much brighter (Because It’s the one I’m attuned to at the moment?)
Amaunator’s – eternal sun. Looks like equidistant stars around it.
See a dragon scale. This is Ibrandul.
See another that doesn’t look like a constellation. It doesn’t have the typical picture. It’s a triangle that is really fuzzy and cloudy. From the research this is Leira.
As I’m about to close the book, I find a hidden pocket. There’s a folded up piece of parchment. It’s a message sent signed by the author of the book. It says that there are two additional constellations that people should be aware of but didn’t include for everyone’s eyes. One looks like a flame “Tyranthraxis” and the other is a series of stars that create a serpent is “Dendar.”

Timothy researched the Order of the Kraken and discovered they were involved in the following: Attempted kidnapping of Heceton which caused the sundering of the order of giants. Attempted summoning of the princes of the Apocalypse working in conjunction with the various elements.

The next few days we spend researching some of the other areas and monsters we were given from the tricks at the bathhouse. The librarian caught the shit gibbon with the dagger, so now we’re told to go check on their mistdragon. I say send the imp, but the stars are saying we must go.

Session 22: Back in Ravens Bluff
A Little Rowdy Rest and Relaxation

As Told by The Dungeon Master.

Verbig the Helpful

Verbig_the_Helpful.jpgThe first thing our sea weary pirated do is visit their friend Verbig the Helpful at The Devil’s Hand Emporium of Magic. Verbig needs to be better at keeping notes on what his customers are looking for. The good news is he has procured or started to procure many items for our heroes. He was able to find Moon Sickle for Kuda and a Rod of the Pact Keeper for Ghaisek, but he is still working on the Cloak of Displacement for Timothy. Verbig promises to keep working on that very rare item.

The Stars Out of Phase

Kuda is asked if he has figured anything out about his new astral shard that he received. Kuda lights the shard and Ghaisek quickly realizes that the star map are the stars that they are familiar with…but they somehow seem to be from another time; probably in the past. The constellations that are shown also seem to be unknown to them. Rolf attempts to help Kuda concentrate on the new systems. While Rolf is no help what so ever in the process (he is easily dick-stracted), Kuda’s focus is drawn to a constellation that looks like a sword dripping with blood. He makes a replica of what he sees. It isn’t known to anyone, so Rolf asks his sword friend if it looks familiar. “Oh yes, that is the sign of Garagos, the Bloodreaver. He is an old god of War.” It appears that this astral shard may be connected to past gods of Faerun.

A Night in the Dragon’s Maw

Our pirate pals have been at sea for a while and they are eager to wash of the dirt and get a little dirty. So, of course they head to the Dragon’s Maw. The warm humid air only accentuates the sound of splashing water and and ecstasy within it’s halls.

Haryn_and_Sylrym.jpgKuda and Ghaisek venture into the left side pool. Kuda catches the eyes of a couple who convince him to join them. As they explore each other’s bodies the couple asks Kuda if any of his friends want to join them. Kuda beacons telepathically to the party. Since Ghaisek is in the room, he coaxes a sexy high elf paladin to join them. They enjoy the pleasures that only another man’s body can provide.

Once all have had their fill, The couple tell Kuda that they were recently adventuring on the coast where the Fire River meets the Dragon’s Reach. While there they were confronted by three old women selling trinkets. However, when they refused to buy any the women threatened to curse them. Ever since, they have been plagued by misfortune.

Peren.jpgGhaisek has opened an entire new world of pleasure to the young high elf. He tells Ghaisek that he was recently sent to Ironfang Keep to investigate rumors that Red Wizards of Thay had been seen. He is in the process of heading back to his masters to tell them that he has confirmed that the Red Wizards are definitely in the region and he fear that they may be looking for some ominous magic.

Hagan_sfw.jpgIn the meantime, Timothy has found a very buff and well endowed half-orc in the right room pool. He isn’t very smart but he makes up for his dumb in other areas. Timothy asks the man if he can be so honored as to pleasure him. The half-orc grunts and allows Timothy to proceed. He is extremely good at his job and is rewarded with a hot, juicy reward. Hagan the half-orc then goes on to tell Timothy about an ancient library located in the Earthfast Mountains. Rumors are that it is guarded by a Mist Dragon.

Norric.jpgRolf has decided to go hang out in the pillow room. There are many eager men here, but he is drawn to the buff, furry halfing named Norric. The halfling is already three sheets to the wind but is more than willing to be Rolf’s good boy. Rolf is no stranger to animalistic encounters and eagerly takes what his good boy offers. The two of them make quite the mess in the pillow room and find themselves knotted up for several minutes after both have reached completion. As they cuddle and recover, Norric tells Rolf about an old wizardry school that he has been looking for. Rumor has it that this school, once located in the Highbank Forest, has been lost for centuries. However, there have been tales of ancient spellbooks and scrolls being found in the region.

While the rest of the party is enjoying the gifts of the flesh, Preston retreats to one of the back rooms to spend some quality time with his new pup. The wispy shadows seem clear and crisp in the darkened room. However a noise startles the creature. To Preston’s shock shadow quadruples in size and turns to growl at the door. Preston calms the creature and answer the door. It is a large satyr looking for a good time. Preston informs him that he isn’t looking for company at this time. He returns to pay attention to the shadow only to see it shrink back down into a cute pup.

Session 21: The Gray Oozy Death
And an Ally Earned

TimothyToken2.pngLetter burned on an alter to Asmodeus by Timothy.

To whomever the voice in my head at night is,

Maybe it’s time I just gave in and paid attention to you. I mean, I’m tired of all this hapless shit happening to me and think I should just embrace it all.

Case in point….

Fucking oozes…. right after I bitched about people summoning stuff or touching stuff. I wind up touching a thing and having oozes fall from the ceiling on top of me. Then, of course, rather than just blasting the things, Ghaesik just uses that stupid wand. I swear to whomever I’m just going to sneak into their room and break it one of these days.

GrayOoze.pngAnd those were some beefy oozes. It took us way too long to take them down. We shot them, fireballed them…Rolf grew twice as big but didn’t get to hit them as it just liked punched him in his new large gut and took him down. Those things just kept on coming. Took beams and spells and just…. damn. (SO glad Preston and Kuda can lay that stuff down)

And the thing I was reaching for when the oozes dropped on me turned out to be…. a tin with some dust to dry powder. Where in the hell would I ever need this?

And then your little acolyte…despite us trying to be smart just runs to the gnome skeleton in the corner. Had to stop him from just grabbing shit. Gaemon stays behind to smash the thing for no reason. I mean, I’d already grabbed the Goggles of Night the gnome was wearing. I think they are trying to drive me crazy. (I know, maybe I shouldn’t assume everyone is trying to hurt me, but given my history…can you blame me?)

Then we get halfway back from the pit before we remember we forgot the thing we were going there to get. Bronzefist was happy we cleared out his mine and was happy to get the totem back. He initiated an orgy, but I just needed some one-on-one time with someone to get this frustration out. I think Rolf and Gaemon and Kuda joined in with him. I’m guessing everyone else just watched.

We’re back on the Viscous Seaward and getting ready to figure out our next move.

So, if you kept me alive on purpose and want me to start actually doing stuff for you…make this shit happen better.

Your (potential) acolyte,

Session 20: The Secret of the Sisterhood

PrestonToken.pngAs told by Preston Digitation.

Today’s performance was another day of adventuring, and there’s so many things I really want to jot down before I forget. It all started with these beautiful colors filling my vision. I’m not sure why, but it really got me thinking creatively about future magic shows…I’ll include some production thoughts in the margins here. It was quite the light show, there were even some spotlights summoned by the snake ladies. I really think they were trying to steal the show from us…not gonna happen on my watch!

At the end of the scene, we discovered a ton of wonderful treasures on an altar to Yeenoghu (I’ve made a sketch of the altar on the back of the page – maybe a future stage design?). There were a lot of things: Shiny new armor, a fancy ring, a cool mace. Kuda found a really cool crystal that showed some weird stars or something…I’ve GOT to figure out how that one is done!!

We went back to that danger pit, and Rolf yelled at the weird magic door (They called it a summoning circle?) until it mostly stopped working. We all exited (stage down?) and Gaemon was able to hit the circle with his hammer to stop it completely. We took a look around briefly, but the next scene started pretty quickly – Oozes! (Two people in the same costume?). I should probably be focusing on that instead of writi-

Session 19: More Secrets of the Sisterhood

KudaToken.pngAs told by Kuda of the Bara.

While the others rest in the tiny hut, Kuda sits cross hoofed in the center, removes the astrolabe from his belt buckle, and attaches the sapphire crystal to it. He uncorks the decanter of endless water and cups his hands while speaking softly in druidic. As water begins to pour from the decanter, he speaks again using shape water to create a perfect sphere of ice around him. Bright points of light emanate from the crystal and form star patterns which dance across the sphere. He begins to chant a prayer to Selune…

selune__1_.jpgOur Lady, who art in the Moon,
Water/snakes be our bane.
Elementals did come,
The crew got them done -
Though we didn’t deal like any damage.
Give us this day
A way out of this cave,
And help smite these devils
as we dishevel sneks as we try to level.
Lead us to the portal,
And deliver us some treasure,
For thine is the Queendom,
The Power,
And the Light beyond measure.

After creating a Kuda-sized hole in the ice, he emerges and drops into Rolf and Sir Swallow’s laps.

Ahhhh.. men.