Campaign of the Month: May 2022

Revenge on the Kraken's Bane

Session 37: The Eye of the Storm

As reported by Rolf the Red, Captain of the Vicious Seaward.

We shuffled our magic items before diving into the calm water, small creatures swimming around us. Kuda looked through Buoy’s eyes and saw shipwrecks below, with some iconography of the Umberlee temple. Gaemon saw this through the mental link and put together that the Iron Throne was fighting Umberlee, and Umberlee lost.

We completed our swim to the island and saw jungle, along with a path to a building up above. We decided to sneak through the jungle up to the building instead of taking the path. Kuda and I guided the party through the forest, following animal trails and the smoke in the distance.

We sneaked very well up to the building while I inspired the party. An empty animal pen awaited us. Tim sneaked into the pen and investigated– animal shit, but no animals. Among the muck he found a signet ring made of iron, with a throne embellishment. He gave it to Gaemon, as a sign of goodwill. He then unlocked a door leading into the building and stealthily opened it, seeing two guards. We considered killing them, but Ghaisek Suggested them to go to the beach instead. It worked, and they went off to fool around by the water! Timothy and I gave each other scritches while we hid. Then we all went into the bunk house.

Timothy stole someone’s journal. There were many doors out of the bunk room, so I chose south as our first attempt. Timothy unlocked the south door– it went back outside, so he re-locked it. We found a trapdoor to the basement: a weapons hold– siege equipment. We took grappling hooks, empty wineskins, and some weapons, all made of iron and embellished with tentacles. Tim found a Kraken society receipt and fucked with it to mess with the guards. Gaemon considered a cannon for the horse.

We made our way through a storage room, a kitchen, and a long hallway with many doors… one of which led to ANOTHER hallway!? AUGH. Tim peered around an archway and saw someone kneeling to an Altar– one of the spooky wizard priests! Timothy ding-dong-ditched him with psychic blades. The priest then shouted out – Tim and Preston were frightened. Gaemon summoned octopodes and I ran in to whirling dervish… we killed him! But then we were SWARMED by guards! OUCH.

Session 36: In Search of the Iron Throne

Greetings Mistress,

It has been some time since I have had occasion to update you on our progress here on the prime. I continue to travel with the pirate crew of the Vicious Seaward in the sea of falling stars doing what I can to further your influence in this realm. We are still in pursuit of the captain that stole Barkus’ ship The Kraken’s Bane and it finally feels like we have a solid lead to chase down. After doing a favor for Gaius the Pirate king by rooting out some mutinous bastards in Immurk’s hold he was more willing to give us some stronger intelligence. Originally we captured 6 of these uppity pirates including the captain but three of them decided that the sharks would be more merciful than the pirate king’s justice. As it turns out, they were right. The way a man screams as he’s slowly encased in molten iron is truly a delightful song.

It seems that roughly a week ago the Kraken’s Bane made port for a few days to resupply and conduct minor repairs and left again 3 days before we arrived ourselves. Based on the information we’ve gathered thus far we believe they came from Starmantle in the west where they were after some magical resources perhaps affected or created by the spellplague. It seems they left setting a course to the East perhaps into the magical storm where we now believe the Iron Throne Syndicate (and perhaps their allies in the Kraken Society) are hiding.

As we set off for the storm we found ourselves on the tail of another ship on the same heading that was flying the colors of the Kraken Society. I sent Caliban ahead to get an eye on them and determine how they would traverse the storm. For once, the Imp actually acquitted itself admirably and was able to observe and disrupt the arcane warding that this ship was using to navigate the danger.

Through a creative manipulation of our own magics we were able to boost Kuda’s spellcasting and successfully navigate the storm on our own. We have anchored the ship as unobtrusively as possible, brought Barkus into our telepathic link, and we now prepare to move ashore and continue to unravel the mysteries that face us. I suspect I will be called on to enact violence yet again and so I request that Malphas and Glauneck be on standby should I need their assistance. I will keep you informed of our progress as always.

Your Servant,


P.S. When we examined the mutinous captain’s ship in Immurk’s Hold we found writing in ancient Netherese that spoke of things beyond the glass sphere that encases our world. That combined with the mysterious hag that provided me with designs for a ship that sails the stars and a story that Rolf heard from his talking sword about “monsters in the sky” makes me think we should be on the lookout for otherworldly entities threatening your domain. I’ll learn what I can.

Session 35: Uncover the Mutiny
Barfight? Sounds about right...

GaemonToken.pngAs told by Gaemon Swallows

The king decreed the capture, of a corrupt conspiring crew
Who would plot to kill the pirate king in a devastating coup

We found the scoundrels hiding, in the bar behind closed door
So Timothy broke in the cad, and thus enemies Outpoured

Rolf howled and halted sailors, swooned in songs upon the stairs
Locking the mob in trance and dance, to be tied and taken unawares

The Captain and his boys remained, though cornered in their lair
I summoned deadly tentacles and had them all ensnared

Kuda called the stars above and burned the blokes and octopi
While our teammates laid on their attacks until the captain died

The king wanted him alive you see, an example for the lands
So Kuda bound with magic Ice and shackled up his hands

We won of course, and tied the rest we had not slew
Now to drag them to the Pirate King to see what he will do

You would be proud, me’ lady, my power ever grows
I await to hear from you again, and see where my path goes

Session 34: Audience with the Pirate King

PrestonToken.pngAs told by Preston Digitation.

  • Revisited the all faiths temple
  • Gaiman was um affected by water tentacles, which turned out to be Umberly. Umberly tells Gaiman that he is the chosen one, and that she wants him to cut off the arm of the iron throne, which has betrayed her. He agrees. She does something funny to his eyes, now he has weird shark eyelids?
  • Gaiman and Ghaisek venture off together to figure out the eye thing. Ghaisek nearly goes mad trying to do the magic.
  • Kuda consults his astrolabe and discovers some unknown constellations, and can now summon an ooze?!
  • We take the ferry to get an audience with the pirate king
  • There is no fee to take the (fairy)
  • 3 day wait to see the pirate king
  • Rolf bribes the nice lady and she gets us in in 15 minutes
  • Pirate king asks us to handle a local mutiny first
  • We return to the bar, and the bartender lets Timothy know that the folks we’re looking for are behind a locked door in the bar. He hints that we could use KNOCK spell to get in.
  • We went to Wisencott’s and picked up some magical keys, one of which does KNOCK (The other does Alarm, and the 3rd we’re not sure?).
  • We returned to the bar again and used the key…cliffhanger!
Session 33: The Streets of Immurk's Hold

KudaToken.pngAs told by Kuda of the Bara.

Kuda curls up with Rolf after a long night and falls asleep nuzzled up to his fur while dreaming of the day..

After leaving the bar the crew wanders over to the shrine of the gods. Kuda couldn’t help but notice Umberlee’s presence seems far greater than it should be in this city. He cleans up Selune’s shrine and makes some offerings. Small motes of silvery light drift down and wrap around him. Timothy cleans another shrine nearby. This one appears to be for Sylvanus, and a small leaf floats down to Timothy as Kuda approaches. Kuda leaves the slaad leathers, some herbs, and a map of the sunken forest as a tribute while prayed for permission to have the Selunite shrine in his forest.

Ghaisek is approached by an old haggish woman who could dismiss Caliban with a though. She gave him a scroll and then fades away.

The crew makes their way to a map shop and try to bargain with the shop keep. Everyone finds a different map that speaks to them. Rolf finds a map of a dragon horde at the top of a mountain, Timothy finds a really nice map of the Moon Shae Isles that he plans to send to his sister as well as a map to something called the Star Mantle, Ghaisek finds a map to the Tower of Lamentation, and Kuda finds a map to the lost city of the giants which the Lady seemed to think is something the crew needed.

They head over to the Peg Leg Pony where Rolf orders some shots and then hits on a captain for some information. The captain says all that’s needed is to register to talk to the king. After more flirting, the crew pays the tab and some silly antics ensue.

While he’s doing that, Kuda starts deciphering Ghaisek’s scroll. It describes how to make the ship’s sails into wings or fins. It details more about something called “wild space.” He then reads some of the orc poetry and discerns the map he has is to Xxiphu.

Ghaisek, Timothy, and Kuda head down to the dock to see if they can find more information on the kraken ship that passed through here. Buoy runs up to cause a distraction while Timothy sneaks a peak at the log book. The Kraken Society ship left 15 days ago under Captain Mangus Wallerbee: the man who killed Barkus’ lover and lead the munity on the Kraken’s Bane.

Rolf starts running in his sleep, and Kuda pulls him tighter while whispering some sexy orc poetry to help him sleep. Kuda nips his ear and kisses him gently on the cheek before quietly sneaking out of the room. He descends down into the hold of the ship and slips into Gaemon’s room. He grabs a hand full of the sleeping elf’s goodberries and says, “I have something for you.” Kuda leads Gaemon to the shrines and says while kissing him, “Our goddesses may be opposed, but that doesn’t mean we have to be. I love you.” He points Gaemon down the hallway to Umberlee and then turns to the shrine of Selune. Kuda then goes and lay down his star crystal at the altar of Selune and says, “I’m ready.”

Session 32: Immurk's Hold

RolfToken.pngAs scribbled in a journal by Rolf the Red, Captain of the Vicious Seaward.

On our way to Immurk’s hold, Barkus tells us there’s rough rocks and a (unknown) password/signal to get in… and leaving our ship to take a dinghy may result in it getting stolen. We convince Barkus and Nadeev to find the code for us while we travel there. We pass a storm in the center of the islands. I direct to pass around it; Kuda watches it and it seems to be totally still, which is odd. We agree to come back to this later and sail on.

We find the “secret” entrance to the island river and need to maneuver around some boulders. Kuda spies a cave at the top of a mountain near the mouth, so we send Kaliban to investigate. He sees 3 pirates, don’t seem alarmed or concerned– watching our ship, and they have a bullseye lantern with a chalkboard covered in lines and dashes, numbered in order. I ask Barkus for immediate news- his information lines up with the what the chalkboard shows, so I present the correct code to them, with a lantern. They respond by sending the same code to someone else, to let the sea gate down. Ghaisek sees the mechanism through Kaliban’s eyes and gives a fireball bead to Timothy just in case. Getting through the rocks was the most difficult navigation I have ever led, but with Buoy and Ghaisek giving help ahead, we navigate in successfully!

We park near the city, noticing the central island. Ghaisek sees a record-keeper and brings me along to get official docking information. Timothy and Preston distract with drunkenness so Kaliban can investigate his books over his shoulder. It cost 50 GP to disembark, no less. He recommends the Tilted Rudder and some brothels to help take care of our horniness. Tells us of the Pirate King’s estate in the island. Ghaisek doesn’t recognize any of the ships on the logs. I thought it was about time for everyone on the ship to go get laid, but Barkus holds back about half the crew and “offers” to stay back and keep the crew/ship under control. Gaemon desummons his horse and plans to summons him back at the bar. We find the Chamber of Commerce and get a map to go to the northeast places. We choose to go the long way around rather than just the water shortpath. We pass by an all-faith chapel, and a building with fun sounds and sweet smells: Wizencotte’s Weird and Wonderful Shoppe! We mess with the caller and try to get laid with him. Ghaisek gets tokens to cheat at skeeball (2500 tix). I, naturally, attempted a strength challenge (2500 tix). Preston wants to play the coin pusher (4000 tix). Timothy and Kuda to the claw machine (4500 tix). Gaemon goes to the bathroom. Put all tix together for big prize. Gaemon comes out with a horse. I directly flirt with the Gnome– he’s Wizencott! But he’s not interested in sex.

We head to the Tilted Rudder Tavern– an excellent dive bar! There’s a table of elves– most of us want a piece of them, and the wood elf responds positively to my flirting. The blue skinned elf with tentacle hat seems to be in charge… The other tables are: 5 Orcs and halves at one table table, arguing, “shouldn’t be in charge, make a change”. At another table, 8 members of various races- black strip of cloth on left arms. A third table, 5 humans, quiet, in the same uniform. Kuda goes to wiggle his tail at the loud orc. Turns out, they were talking about a book club. Kuda tries to help with magic choice making and makes friends with the orcs, so he gets a book of Orcish Poetry. Meanwhile I buy a round for the table of elves. They are Malfus, High Elf 1, Aquafina (wearing a tentacled hat), and Pirate Firstmate, the Wood Elf. At this point I’m overwhelmingly horny and directly tell Firstmate I want to lay him hard, and we go romp in the barn nearby.

Through our mental link, I learn the following: Caliban spies on the remaining elves from the table and they talk about getting more elves for their crew and being pickier– seem to be newer crew. Ghaisek buys drinks for the orcs, then changes his mind and takes drinks to the elves instead– calls me uncouth to get their favor (rude, but a good plan). Tells them he’s looking for a ship with a similar motif– getting a bit stonewalled by their captain. Walks away, leaving Caliban, and they mention an elven underwater city–Neramyr. Timothy followed me to investigate the elf’s clothing; takes his rabbits foot but nothing special. Gaemon is urged by Ghaisek to get more info– but the picky elves seem to dislike that he’s only half. They say it’s a requirement by their “Patron”. The drow elf does drink the provided shots though. Ghaisek detects thoughts and sees a symbol of a dolphin– an ocean deity called the Dolphin Prince. Gaemon offers the Drow to join him, but he doesn’t follow through. Timothy tries to attract someone from a group of quiet talkers but he doesn’t follow; Tim takes both shots. Timothy tries to sneak into a locked side door but gets caught, and goes to the bathroom upstairs– I decided at this point to send him some live action play-by-play of filling the Wood Elf, and Tim jerks off. <3. Where to next: All Faith Chapel, Treasure Map, Peg Legged Pony Tavern, or brothels?

Session 31: You Go Down With the Ship

TimothyToken2.pngAs told by Timothy.

(Letter burned on an alter to Asmodeus)

I’m not sure I can do this. Every time I think something good is happening, I get dragged into the shit again.

The ghost ship had broken in two. The wheel they wanted me to get was with two large sahuagin. I was able to get a fireball off under the water, but they beefy sahaguan started summoning sharks and just too many little sahaguin jumped into the water after the rest of the VS crew. They didn’t see me because I was hiding under part of the ship.

The smaller sahugain swarmed around the crew taking some chunks out of Gaemon and Ghaisek. Kuda had little choice than to break out of his octopus form and polymorph Gaemon into a giant shark, basically to take all the damage the sahaguin were throwing.

I was using my new ring to summon lightening balls which began to do damage to the bigger sahaugin when one of them took off with the wheel. Kuda returned to octoopus form and joined me in the chase, but he got there first.

The other larger sahaguin summoned something else, a priest of some kind who cast a spell which trapped Rolf! He said it, he said this was in the name of the Kraken! This is the Kraken society!

What should I have done! Go get the wheel, but Rolf was trapped and Kuda was getting hit!

Sharky Gameon did his best to feed off the little Sahaguin, but well-placed attack on Octo-kuda broke his concentration and turned Gaemon him back into Gaemon surrounded by enemies. The water was full of ally blood.

Ghaisek went down as a shark bit into his flesh and then swam off to feast on Gaemon as Ghaisek unconsciously sunk. The baron with the wheel went after Kuda. With his shark friend, he took Kuda down.

It was looking like we couldn’t win this fight so we prepared a strategic retreat when the spellcaster disappeared through a portal with one of his baron, the one who got away because Kuda was dying. Would have taken both of his barons, but I had one restrained.

Rolf was able to heal Kuda before I got to him, but that shark just kept biting and Kuda went down again.

With enemies around me and Kuda sinking, Gaemon popped beside me to get me free to give Kuda a potion. He touched my cheek and said he’d get them for me. I wasn’t even sure we were friends before this.

Ghaisek just barely awake from healing Rolf gave them summons a devil to help take out the remaining enemies.

On the ship was some gold and jewels and two wax sealed parchments.

We get back to see the sahaguin who tried to take our ship were no match for our crew. Barkus and Iron Fist greeted us. Nadav was healing the crew.

The parchments were two maps, which revealed shipping lanes and then with a key. Indicating other locations which are not associated trading routes, this could be where the Kraken society is hidden. They were in thieves cant so no one else could see them. I told them.

Barkus, saying yes we made mistakes, didn’t seem to appreciate that we came away with good information. Arrogant fucker, my friends nearly died for these fucking maps! Kuda went down twice.

This isn’t what I signed up for, to watch my friends die. To watch Rolf get hurt! To see Kuda fighting and getting knocked down!

I just wanted a quiet time with some fun people and the occasional adventure. This is not what I signed up for.

Session 30: Encounter with the Ghost Ship
Spoiler: No Ghosts At ALL!

RolfToken.pngAs told by Rolf the Red, Captain of the Vicious Seaward.

Timothy spied a shimmering ship in the distance and asked what my orders were. Naturally, I said “Get ‘em!”! Timothy ordered firing the ballista to start, while I ordered the mangonel. Both unfortunately missed, and both ships began the charge toward each other. Gaemon and I fired off arrows while Kuda created a whirlpool under their ship, holding them in place! Gaemon wanted to try taking the horse as a water mount… I’m glad he decided against that, as his arrows flew true just fine on the deck. Ghaisek sent Caliban to transfer some Fireball beads to Timothy, who had swam off, and he threw one at the trapped ship! Preston blew another fireball, then Ghaisek did the same! BOOM BOOM BOOOOM!!! Then Kuda created a lightning storm over the ocean to blast bolts at the enemy ship. The sound was deafening, but we charged forward! Then they started firing back at us, with someone on their ship ALSO casting call lightning!! Kuda called to target their (hot) spellcaster while Preston blew up the front of their ship with ANOTHER fireball. Ghaisek chose this moment to crawl out onto the bow of the ship for some reason, but I was focusing on casting a psychic lance into the spellcaster’s face to break his concentration. And it WORKED! We were about to blow them all to Umberlee!! But they countered with another round of ammunition and a magical wave, knocking Ghaisek off the prow! We finally were close enough to see that the enemy crew was made of Sahagin, probably led by the spellcaster. Kuda dealt the final blow against the spellcaster and commanded Buoy to Fetch his odd-looking staff! At some point, Ghaisek teleported onto the other ship’s crow’s nest, but with a sickening crack, the enemy ship broke in half, and he fell off again. 2 larger sahagin pick up steering wheel- apparently that may be the source of the fog thing? We swam down into the water after the sinking ship, hoping to collect our well-earned treasure…

Session 29: Hitting the Sea Again

Ghaisek_token.pngAs told by Ghaisek.


At long last this crew of endearing miscreants and I have returned to Raven’s Bluff to claim our vessel, the Vicious Seaward, and set out for proper seafaring adventure. While waiting on a meeting with the pirate Zhent Barkus to get the next job we made a trip to Verbig’s shop to upgrade some gear.

Apparently Verbig has a new shop assistant, a cute little elf boy, named Cybil. I think perhaps he is a touch innocent and sweet for my palate, but I watched with delight as the good captain Rolf turned on the charm and flustered the dear boy to the point of stuttering. Once he regained his composure he helped us reequip with some scrolls and a better shield for Kuda, a protective ring for the captain, and a delicious cloak made from the pelt of displacer beasts for the Lutrinian. Of course it would be a terrible tragedy if any lasting harm were to befall timothy, but should the unthinkable happen I’m sure such a cloak would suit your service well. As it happens, Barkus himself was present at Verbig’s and told us to meet him at the Dragon’s Claw for lunch after we finished our errands.

After finishing up at Verbig’s we made our way to our newly finished ship and set about the delightful business of claiming quarters. Fortunately the ship is well fit to accommodate the needs of her officers and we are spared the indignity of sharing quarters with the common seamen…unless of course we wish to indulge in that very indignity; after all, some of the men do seem …delicious. We also established some roles for at least a portion of the officers. Rolf as the captain, obviously. Kuda is well suited to the task of celestial navigation and I trust he will prove most adept at charting our course. Timothy will likely spend a good deal of time on lookout duty either from the crow’s nest or the water itself. I myself will stand as Bo’sun and ensure the crew maintains vigilant diligence

Eventually we made way to the tavern to meet with Barkus and his friends- the minotaur Bronzefist we had met previously and an Air Genasi named Nadiv with a serious attitude problem. All that to say, we have learned there is some fuckery afoot. A number of commercial ships bound for Tantras & [insert city name] departing from Nyth and Telflamm have gone missing underway somewhere between the port towns of Dilpur and Lyrabar. Rumors have it that a “ghost ship” is responsible for the disappearances.

According to Nadiv the ships that have gone missing were all carrying agents of the Harper’s returning from Thay with information about the goings on in Szass Tam’s playground. I suspect that these haughty meddling fucks have brought this on themselves with their interference. All the same an opportunity to peek into Thay could be profitable and Barkus has been kind in his patronage. Despite my personal feelings towards the Harpers this job is likely to pay handsomely.

Although your previous message indicated no evidence of a ghost ship within your sight, there appears to be some vessel that could be described as such on the horizon. I suppose it’s time to put the Vicious Seaward to the test.

Your Servant,


Session 28: The Ardragon's Agreement
And the Harper's Help

KudaToken.pngAs told by Kuda of the Bara.

Kuda quietly leaves the Dragon’s Maw and hoofs down to the shore. He whispers to the water, and a small V wake shoots away after a short conversation. Somewhere in the Sea of Fallen Stars, a slippery fish slips aside a ship of supple vines where satyrs screw in the sun. The fish calls out in Kuda’s voice:

Bara Boys -

I hope this slippery dick finds you well. I’ve been thinking of you all since you came, and I promise to send more dick when I can.

Preston was still mentally ill, so he, Rolf, and Timothy went back to the Eldath priestess, Estelle Greymantle. I stayed with Ghaisek and Gaemon in the very likely event they got into trouble and needed a healing hand. I’m not sure what happened while they were away, but Preston felt better, Timothy was acting more secretive than usual, and Rolf was… well, Rolf.

While they were gone, we tried various ways to get through the barrier but were not successful. Gaemon finally remembered he could summon animals too, so now we have this horse with us. His name is Neigh Sayer, and he has a fancy hat. I love him. With nothing else better do we, we romped a bit. The Bara do it better.

Ghaisek spooked up a ghost (big surprise) who could get through the wards. Preston took the ghost deep in him and did the deed. Turns out the ghosts were all teachers and students who were trapped by the school’s wards. They asked us to bury their bones, and I had never wished for mold earth more. We explored around the school and found an alchemy jug, an awesome ring, a fantastic cape, and some tools which I’m trying to figure out.

We then had to find a way to get Neigh Sayer out of the hole, and I explained to Gaemon how I can poof Buoy to a safe place and quickly bring him back. I don’t think he was able to figure it out which isn’t surprising for a follower of the bitch queen. After several failed attempts, I turned into a giant eagle and carried him out. We told the villagers who had been throwing their trash there to stop since the area is a graveyard. They were not happy, but I’m sure Estelle will enforce it.

We made our way back to Ravensbluff and met a dickish friend of Barkus. By the looks of him, I assume he had blue balls which probably accounted for the dickishness. I would have helped, but I think Preston was into him. After some brief fun playing with Timothy and Rolf’s tools at the bath house, I played with those other tools and snuck to the shore to send this message. Barkus expects to see us this morning, so I will end here and dream of being on the sea with you once again.

May Selune’s silver stars watch over and guide you,

P.S. I’m almost out of seaweed. Send moar plz.

Kuda smiles longingly at the sea as the slippery dick fish slips away. He makes his way back to the Dragon’s Maw to snuggle up again with Timothy and Rolf.